Новости за 19.04.2024

In a stark rejection of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a coalition of Kennedy family members publicly endorsed Joe Biden’s campaign for reelection, with Kerry Kennedy saying that “nearly every single grandchild of Joe and Rose Kennedy supports Joe Biden.” What do you think?

WASHINGTON—In a shocking breach of White House security, President Joe Biden was reportedly carried away by ants Friday. According to witnesses, the 81-year-old commander-in-chief remained quite calm during his apparent abduction by the insects, showing no signs of resistance as the swarm of approximately 2,500 black…

An elephant named Viola escaped from the Jordan World Circus in Butte, MO after being spooked by a car while getting a bath and bolting, making it several blocks downtown before being corralled and returned. What do you think?

Alex Garland’s newest dystopian film, which takes place in the not-so-distant future, follows a team of military-embedded journalists as they travel across the country during America’s second Civil War. The Onion asked conservatives how they felt about the film, and this is what they said.

ROME—Following comments that drew an immediate backlash for what critics called an inappropriate and self-serving analogy, sources confirmed Friday that Zebedee Peters, a man who is currently being crucified by the Romans, has continued to arrogantly compare his plight to that of Jesus Christ. “Look, I feel for…

WASHINGTON—Drawing swift backlash from critics concerned about the agency’s spending, the Internal Revenue Service came under fire Friday for blowing $350 million to develop a massively multiplayer tax-filing video game entitled Tales Of Revenue. “When I first downloaded it from IRS.gov, I thought it’d just be a…

DEIR AL-BALAH, GAZA—Following accounts of continued civilian massacres in the Gaza Strip, disturbing reports emerged this week of the Israel Defense Forces allegedly using armored vehicles to play clips of Amy Schumer’s stand-up comedy in order to drive Palestinians from their homes. “The IDF is currently using a…

PHILADELPHIA—Her footsteps echoing in the night as she wandered down the unlit side street, local woman Caitlin Morgan was reportedly lured into a dark alley Friday by a sign reading “Free self-defense class for women.” “Free self-defense class this way? Don’t mind if I do,” said Morgan, who delightedly followed the…