Новости за 10.04.2024

Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez of Spain announced plans to scrap a so-called “golden visa” law that allows wealthy non-E.U. residents to live in Spain if they buy real estate there. What do you think?

A woman in Florida was sentenced to jail time for stealing President Joe Biden’s daughter’s journal and selling it to the conservative group Project Veritas for $20,000. What do you think?

CHICAGO—As a capstone to a record-breaking day for the internationally recognized brand’s views and advertising revenue, The Onion released a statement Wednesday confirming that it had used all of the funds raised from its annual Click Drive to purchase a Yamaha WaveRunner VX series. “Following a massive haul that…

EVERYWHERE—Wondering when the unending barrage of content from The Onion’s Click Drive might finally give way, the nation was informed by insiders at the media outlet Wednesday that they would not stop pestering people until they gave in and engaged with the fucking thing. “Rest assured, the Click Drive will continue…

YOUR DATA- OR WIFI-ENABLED DEVICE—Feeling crushed under the oppressive demands to click and click and click on TheOnion.com, the nation was informed by experts from The Onion’s Click Drive Wednesday that this could all be made to stop for just 25 clicks. “For a mere 25 clicks on The Onion’s website, you could end all…

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ATLANTA—Saying that when it came to manual strength and dexterity the only options were to “use it or lose it,” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a new set of health guidelines Wednesday that recommended a minimum of six hours of daily clicking for healthy fingers. “To ensure that your fingers…

Welcome To The Onion’s Click Drive. Thanks to the generous clicks of readers like yourself, we’re able to keep invaluable journalistic projects going:

Back when it was a great, respected, and profitable business, journalism employed thousands of reporters who worked tirelessly to cover interesting and important stories from around the globe. But now, after years of neglect, an overreliance on programmatic advertising, and predation by private equity firms, the…