My husband gave me a gift card for a massage last year. I still haven't used it because something always comes up. I know I'm not alone.
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Last Mother's Day, my husband and children were very excited for me to open my present. They gathered around the edge of the bed and waited impatiently for me to open the envelope that arrived under my plate of Belgian waffles — the only breakfast food my husband knows how to make — and I sincerely thanked them for the gift card for a massage.
"Make sure you book it soon!" my husband encouraged.
"Oh, I will," I responded, thinking of the other massage gift certificate from my birthday that was still tucked in my desk drawer, gathering dust.
It's not that I don't love massages. I knew that I would benefit from one, in fact, and my children were so proud of themselves, so I wanted to make it a priority. The next day, I made an appointment with the spa for that Thursday morning, fully intending to enjoy 90 minutes of pampering.
But the night before my scheduled self-care, my 6-year-old spiked a fever, and so I called and canceled the appointment. "I'll call and rebook when she's better," I told the mildly annoyed receptionist.
She let me know that usually there is a cancellation fee, but that she would waive it just this once. I never got around to calling back, stressed out that I would have to cancel a second time and be gifted with a fine.
Mother's Day is around the corner again. The massage gift card from last year sits on my dresser in a pile of other plastic cards that were cluttering my purse. Periodically, I find it while digging for a store loyalty card, and I flip it over in my hand as I think, "I should probably try to use this," before dropping it back in the stack and forgetting about it.
I know I'm not the only mom in this situation. Well-meaning gift-givers bestow us with restaurant cards, manicure gift cards, and even more grandiose gestures such as weekend getaways. But before a parent can redeem any of these wonderful presents, there are many preparatory steps. Firstly, we must find time in the household schedule. This means checking the family calendar for any conflicts including yet not limited to sporting events, birthday parties, doctor's appointments, music recitals, or school commitments. For many, childcare must be secured as well, and in many cases, any meals must be planned and prepared for when mom won't be available. Any transportation that usually occurs during that time will also need alternative plans.
And finally, when the moment has arrived for mom to relax, everyone will need to be healthy so she can leave guilt-free and actually enjoy her "me time."
When I consider what it would be like to have a massage, it truly does sound otherworldly. It's just that the steps I would need to take to get there are overwhelming and, at times, not possible, so I can't get excited about it, no matter how much I want to.
For Mother's Day this year, maybe these gifts of massages and manicures or dinners out could also include the legwork necessary to get to such an appointment. If someone told me, for example, "I've checked your calendar, and Friday at four o'clock, I'm driving you to the spa for an appointment. I'll be making dinner while you're there, so don't think another moment about it," I would be beside myself with joy.
For all gift-givers looking to show their mother how much they love them with such a gift, think of it like an all-inclusive resort. Your mom shouldn't have to worry about any of the planning to enjoy her gift.
This year, I will ask my family to handle all of the planning so I can finally enjoy last year's gift before it expires.
