Warm light radiated out onto the High Street through beautiful leaded glass windows and it was difficult to resist paying the Castle Hotel a visit – so I didn’t, resist that is.
Once inside this Eynsford watering hole, the first thing you’ll notice is a forest of pink and white flowers hanging from the ceiling, which, whilst pleasant enough, look a little incongruous.
The next thing I became aware of was a fairly lengthy wait at the bar while the barmaid filled a hefty order for a round of coffees. Noting it was five o’clock somewhere, well here and NOW to be accurate, made not a jot of difference but I suppose such a delay for dipsticks to get their caffeine is a more likely annoyance in a hotel bar than it is in an out-and-out pub.
The only ale available on tap was a Whitstable Bay Pale so that’s what I went for, along with a packet of Pipers salt and vinegar – I had two issues with the crisps, first they weren’t the S&V I was promised and second, they cost £1.50.
The Whitstable Bay (not unlike the seaside town it’s named after) was a little overpriced and more than a little over-rated.
However, the atmosphere was friendly and upbeat so I took a seat fairly centrally at a table reasonably near the fire and reasonably far from the flowers.
The place is well set up for dining but the vast majority of punters were in for a drink and, as I say, the vibe was good. Or it was, until a bearded fellow began marching around the bar on his mobile and having a long, very loud discussion about an outbreak of Pennywort - whatever that is? I hadn’t seen such an impressive impression of Dom Joly’s signature sketch for years.
The background music was fairly bland and playing at a gentle level so it was never going to compete with ‘Dom’ who had gone from one important phone call to another, cutting someone off very quickly to speak to his next caller.
Quite rightly there is no dartboard, no fruit machine, no jukebox and no pool table, although there was a small flickering false candlelight on each table, plenty of trendy lightbulbs and lots of snacks in glass jars on the bar.
Dom was finally joined by a lady in a Where’s Wally bobble hat and this proved to be the catalyst which finally saw him put the phone away.
This entertainment stream at an end I turned my attention to three Irishmen who’d taken up residence on the table behind me and were discussing which funerals they would, and would not, attend in the next few weeks. Each was armed with a pint of Moretti but for some reason all three decided it didn’t taste right and left, having consumed just a third of a pint each.
The barmaid asked me why the nice gentlemen had left prematurely but I wasn’t able to enlighten her.
However, I was beginning to enjoy this hotel bar so decided a second pint was in order - but not a Moretti - so I ordered a Beavertown Bones Lager and settled a little closer to the real fire.
Looking around it's clear this is a popular bar and attracts a good melting pot of different folks of different ages and one guy, sitting in the corner, seemed to be running his entire business from a laptop.
There is a central corridor which leads through to the toilets and a back door through to the garden. The toilets were impeccably decorated and perfectly maintained. Good though the facilities were, I have to say the garden area looked absolutely fantastic – it was too chilly for anyone to be sitting outside but it must be packed in the summer.
The hotel was pretty full and many guests seemed more than happy staying close to home and frequenting the bar, which would transform itself back into a breakfast bar first thing in the morning.
There’s been no holding back on the decoration as, apart from the aforementioned hanging plastic flowers, there are plenty of cushions and other frippery dotted about. I spotted one screen but it wasn’t switched on.
The next customer in arrived with his mum straight from football training and was supposed to be having a Coke but managed to blag a hot chocolate as his weekly treat instead.
I’d arrived at five and time was now getting on so it was time for me to drink up, unlike the Irish guys, and head for the door.
I wasn’t in to eat but by the time I left there were some gorgeous fishy smells emanating from the kitchen and I was more than a little disappointed I couldn’t stay longer.
CASTLE HOTEL, EYNSFORD HIGH STREET, NEAR SWANLEY DA4 0AB
Decor: The hanging flowers weren’t quite my thing, but I have to admit they were unique. The leaded windows were superb and the rest of the bar was very tastefully decorated. ****
Drink: It’s a little on the plain side but the Whitstable Bay was a reasonable fruity pale that would work well as a session ale. The Bones Lager was refreshing and smooth with a slight citrus taste. ***
Price: The Whitstable Bay Pale Ale was £5.45 and the Beavertown Bones Lager was £6.80 but it was the cost of the crisps, at £1.50, which surprised me. **
Staff: The wait at the bar was considerable but it wasn’t the barmaid’s fault and she was welcoming and friendly. ***
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