My work colleague has me completely bewitched

DEAR DEIDRE: A new work colleague has me completely bewitched – despite being happily married with kids.

Every day I wake up thinking about this woman, and while I try my best to ignore it, it’s consuming me.

I’m 42, my wife is 38 and we’ve been married for nine years. We have two daughters together, one is two and the other is five.

Over the last year, our sex life has completely died and I can’t remember the last time that we were intimate.

While I still love her dearly and can’t imagine my life without her, I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss feeling close to someone.

I had never found myself looking elsewhere, but when a gorgeous blonde woman joined my work team everything changed.

She was everything I wanted in a woman; smart, funny, and confident.

Over the last couple of months, we’ve become acquainted and my feelings for her have blossomed.

Now every day I wake up looking forward to seeing her and thoughts of her constantly swarm my mind.

Recently our conversations have become progressively flirtier and I’m starting to wonder if she feels the same.

I know it’s wrong and the last thing I want is to hurt my wife, but I can’t shake the feeling I have inside.

Should I tell her how I feel?

DEIDRE SAYS: While it’s normal to fancy other people while in a committed relationship, it is whether you choose to act on it that matters.

I understand how torn you must feel but your relationship with this other woman is merely a fantasy, not a reality.

It’s your wife that you’ve made a commitment to, and instead of seeking attention elsewhere, it’s essential you focus on fixing things within your relationship.

I would recommend sex and relationship therapy to help bring you both closer.

The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk) can put you in touch with reputable counsellors.

My support pack Different Sex Drives will also help.