DEAR DEIDRE: MY world came crashing down when my partner confessed he’d fathered a love child while I was pregnant.
What hurts even more is that the other woman has decided to name the baby after him.
It’s as if she wants the whole world to know.
I am 36 and my partner is 38. We have been together for eight years and have a five-year-old son and a daughter who is five months old.
This isn’t the first time my partner has cheated — he’s done it multiple times, but for the sake of our son, I forgave him.
One night about seven months ago we had a row because I was suffering with morning sickness and my partner wasn’t pulling his weight.
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He went to the gym to blow off steam. Apparently he got talking to this woman. She’s a similar age to me and has a reputation for breaking up relationships.
They went back to her flat and had sex. My partner hasn’t apologised for cheating and even blamed me.
He says I am the problem in our relationship.
When he told me she was pregnant and naming the baby after him, I flipped.
Apparently the baby has to be his because he is the only one she has had sex with for months.
All the love I had has gone. I am emotionally drained and want to move but I can’t afford to. I feel so betrayed.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You have given your partner multiple chances but he hasn’t proved worthy.
Please only consider taking him back on the strict condition he commits to therapy so he can start to understand and stop his cheating.
If only for the sake of your children, do have a think about this.
Don’t fall into the trap of staying with him on the promise of attending.
If he won’t seek help, or show he wants to change, as hard as it will be initially, you will be happier and more secure if you start to plan for separate lives.
As the father of both your children he has a responsibility to provide financially for them.
Gov.uk/child-maintenance-service has lots of information on how much support you could expect.
My support pack Can’t Be Faithful explains more, together with one on How Counselling Works.
Your partner should also insist on DNA tests as you only have this woman’s word that he is the father.
