DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve taken my gorgeous, good-looking, cheating husband back but he’s still talking to his much-younger lover and I feel like a mug.
My husband has always been a Jack the Lad-type. When he first took an interest in me, I thought he was out of my league.
But he seemed obsessed with me, proposed within six months and we married in a whirl a year later.
We are both 33 and have two daughters. Once they were born, I devoted myself to them.
If I’m honest, I considered him second. Unsurprisingly, sex became irregular and he didn’t seem bothered by our lack of a sex life or me.
Then I saw a message on his phone ending with heart emojis. I called him out and he admitted he was seeing somebody from work.
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I was heartbroken. I felt ugly, unloved and blamed myself.
He left us and moved back with his parents for a few nights before moving in with her. She is 27 and very pretty which doesn’t do a lot for my self-esteem.
I did my best to move on and tried online dating. I’d only had two dates when my husband heard about it and turned up at my door saying he’d made a mistake. Stupidly, I invited him in and we had sex.
He brought his stuff back over the next day. We’ve agreed on where we went wrong and what we can do about it.
We’ve even booked a holiday for the summer. But yesterday he left his phone at home when he went to work and a couple of messages came in. They were from the same woman.
I don’t think he’s broken up with her and for all I know they are having sex in the broom cupboard during their lunch hour.
How can I have been so stupid?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You don’t know for sure that he’s answering her messages.
Rather than bottling things up, tell him what you saw on his phone. Let’s hope he can reassure you it’s one-sided.
Insist that he blocks her number and if you’re to move on from this, you’ll need some couples counselling.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975) which is able to provide online therapy services.
If things don’t improve and you discover that he is still cheating, you may need to seriously consider separating amicably, for your own sake and for the sake of your daughters.
