DEAR DEIDRE: My boyfriend told me he might have made his ex-girlfriend pregnant before we started dating.
Now I’m finding it hard to trust him. I’m worried the baby is his, and that he will go back to her.
I’m 26 and he’s 28. I know he was a bit of a player in the past, but when we met he said he was ready for something serious.
Things were going well until his mate messaged him to say that his ex, 27, was six months pregnant.
Apparently, she isn’t sure who the dad is, but the timings match with the period she was seeing my boyfriend.
He says he definitely doesn’t want to be with her and he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby either if it’s his.
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As far as he’s concerned, it has nothing to do with our relationship, and shouldn’t spoil it.
But everything feels different now. I feel really uncertain about the future and I’m worried that if the baby is his, he’ll have to support it.
He might change his mind about wanting to be a dad – and about his feelings for his ex.
I also worry that if he was so careless with this woman, how many other babies might be out there?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Finding out your boyfriend might be about to become a dad has made you question who he is, and where your relationship is going.
You are right that, if he is the father, he will have a legal obligation to support the baby.
The only way to be sure is by doing a DNA test.
Talk to your boyfriend and be honest about your fears. It may be that once you are over the shock, he can reassure you, and you can deal with the situation together.
This is about his past, not about the way he feels about you. But perhaps you have now seen a side to him you don’t like. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help.
