DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I know my lover only wants me for sex, I can’t say no.
We work at the same company but he doesn’t even acknowledge me in the office. It hurts.
I’m 30 and he’s 33.
We’ve been colleagues for a few years and started sleeping together after a company Christmas night out.
I was so excited at first, because I thought he really liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend.
He’s really good-looking and lives in the nicest area of town. But it soon became clear he only wanted one thing.
He’ll invite himself round late at night but doesn’t want to go on dates or make plans.
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At work he brushes me off, sometimes rudely. But if no one is around, he’ll take the opportunity to grab me in the kitchen for a snog.
If I message him, he doesn’t respond. Then, when we’re together, he gives me lots of compliments and promises he’ll tell everyone about us soon.
He is taking advantage of me but I think I really love him.
If I dump him, it could make life extremely awkward for me at work.
DEIDRE SAYS: You deserve better than this.
Some workplaces frown on office relationships, so he might be worried. But that’s no excuse to treat you poorly.
Tell him you want to be a proper couple and to be treated respectfully, or you need to stop the sex.
You say you think you have fallen for him but it sounds like you are in love with the idea of him. By that I mean you have an image of the sort of boyfriend he would be.
Unfortunately this man is falling well short of those hopes.
So as you want more, please don’t hang about if nothing changes.
My support pack, Ending A Relationship, will help you.
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