WHEN her toddler daughter is close to a meltdown, one parenting expert can stop the tantrum in its tracks with just eight words. She shared the genius strategy online, sparking gratitude from parents eager to use the tactic with their own kids. Parenting expert Destini Ann focuses on intentional, positive strategies for relating to kids […]
WHEN her toddler daughter is close to a meltdown, one parenting expert can stop the tantrum in its tracks with just eight words.
She shared the genius strategy online, sparking gratitude from parents eager to use the tactic with their own kids.
Parenting expert Destini Ann focuses on intentional, positive strategies for relating to kids in a healthy way.
“I found a phrase that helps my daughter express her anger,” Ann said in a TikTok video about the strategy.
“I want to teach her that anger is not a bad thing,” the mom explained.
When Ann was growing up, she was told that anger was a “negative” emotion, and she doesn’t want her daughter to face the same repercussions from that defeatist mindset later in life.
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That means diverting tantrums into a conversation – a tricky thing to do with a toddler.
“I’ve been using this phrase to help her acknowledge her anger in a more appropriate way,” Ann explained.
When she notices her daughter is “slamming doors or rolling her eyes” and escalating to a meltdown, Ann gets down to her daughter’s level and asks a straightforward question.
“I say, ‘what is your anger trying to tell you?'” the mom said.
Anger is often a signal that “a boundary is being crossed, a need is not being met,” Ann explained.
Even though she’s the mom, Ann admits that she can’t fulfill her daughter’s every need, and sometimes she can’t resolve a problem in a way that satisfies her toddler.
But talking it out instead of having a tantrum is key to healthy relationships, she added.
“We are a lot more likely to get those needs met if we are articulating it,” Ann stated.
Other parents were thrilled by the expert’s strategy, and shared stories of similar upbringings, where they weren’t “allowed” to be angry.
“It sad that we grew up thinking anger was a ‘bad’ emotion,” said a mom in the comments. “There are no ‘bad’ emotions.”
“You could use this phrase with every emotion,” one viewer theorized.
Some viewers even shared that they’ve been learning the same difficult lesson as adults.
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“My therapist just told me this last week,” a mom admitted.
“I’m going to use this for my inner child and my actual child,” another agreed.
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