Supersized martinis to world’s tallest fountain – everything is bigger in Dallas

DALLAS: It all started for me back in the ’80s when, like millions, I tuned in weekly to the doings of the Ewings on the US telly soap named after the Texas city.

I’d sit with a cola pretending it was JR’s tipple — Bourbon and Branch — slack-jawed at the stetsons that were as tall as the shoulder pads were wide.

And I’ve been dining out on my Dallas fix ever since I visited the city before my 40th birthday some 12 years ago.

Whether you like your food fancy or fingerlicking, in the Lone Star state it’s always lipsmacking good — and boy do you get more bang for your buck.

The ladies (and lads) who lunch can be spotted swilling supersized martinis at midday.

And you don’t have to be a cowpoke to sup on an ice-cold beer at spit-and-sawdust joints serving a banging barbecue.

The watering holes of Dallas will always have you drooling.

I stayed at The Mansion on Turtle Creek where the Dallas cast lived in their heyday — a top-class treat for a telly geek like me — but there is no shortage of hotels fit for all budgets.

New beds to park your boots under can be found at the recently opened JW Marriott in the heart of Dallas’s downtown Arts District with a spa and rooftop pool deck and bar.

For another pool with a view, keep an eye out later this year for the upcoming Harwood Hotel

Or try the Plush Suites, soon to open in North Dallas promising affordable rooms.

The new ­Virgin Hotel is also well worth checking out — or checking in.

But it was back at the fabled Mansion, Rosewood Hotels and Resorts’ original property, that I drank with Linda “Sue Ellen” Gray, a passionate ambassador for the town.

It was in the loo there, back in the late 1970s, Linda tells me, that she met a woman packing a pistol in her clutch bag.

“Is that a gun?” Linda asked, to which the lady replied: “Sure honey, this is Texas!”

And so the character of Sue Ellen was born.

Where Dallas and Texans really shoot from the hip is with their good old-fashioned Southern charm and hospitality.

Just ask the filly I straddled for a day of horse­riding at Southfork Ranch, the Ewing homestead turned tourist attraction.

Some 44 years later, fans from around the world visit daily.

I once asked Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby, what his screen brother Larry “JR” Hagman would have made of it all. “He’d’ve charged em!” he quipped.

But any eye-watering amounts are easy to dodge in a city recently named as one of the cheapest places to visit in 2022.

Mouthwatering restaurants are plentiful. Saddle up and park your tush at Monarch for cocktails, fine fodder and booths with views.

Souffles and soups at Rise No1 are a must for a munch at lunch and for a spice of life look no further than Joe Leo Fine Tex Mex restaurant.

Polish the weekend off with a Sunday funday filled with Sinatra swank and old Hollywood vibes at Drakes.

I woke up dustier than a ranch dude out on the range but it was worth it.

There’s so much more to Dallas, of course, whether you’re looking for an extra long weekend or part of a bigger tour of Texas.

The world-class Arboretum — “the lungs of Dallas” — throws shade over the best botanical gardens in the world and is worth checking out for seasonal events, come pumpkins or Christmas.

Hot on its spurred heels will be the newly expanded Fair Park, annual home to the State Fair of Texas which kicks off usually on the last Friday of September.

Music lovers will never hit a duff note in the Deep Ellum neighbourhood, birth­place of the Texas Blues.

Try Food Tours of America for the Deep Ellum Taste of Texas tour for tacos, brews and barbecues.

Just 20 minutes outside Dallas, you can watch the world-famous Dallas Cowboys at the AT&T stadium or at least take a selfie on the field’s famous star.

Plan to check out the “world’s tallest interactive fountain” which is set to open in Klyde Warren Park this year.

It will shoot jets of water high into the air and each evening it will come alive with streams of shimmering water shooting sky high.

But enough of my gushing. I’ve already booked my Dallas trip for this year after breaking for the US border last November as soon as they opened up Stateside to allow me to visit my home away from home.

As my pals at Good Morning Britain know only too well (and at the risk of sounding like the human oil slick JR himself): coming between me and my annual line dance and “margarita-thon” is a mistake you only make once.