DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my husband and I had group sex with another woman, our sex life has completely died. I’ve always been bi-curious and my husband knew it when we got together in our mid-twenties. We clicked at once and have been inseparable ever since, enjoying a great sex life, even after having kids. I […]
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my husband and I had group sex with another woman, our sex life has completely died.
I’ve always been bi-curious and my husband knew it when we got together in our mid-twenties.
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We clicked at once and have been inseparable ever since, enjoying a great sex life, even after having kids.
I never had the desire to look at anybody else, male or female. I’m now 42 and he is 44.
Last year, home-schooling the kids and working from home started to have an impact on our sex life, as we were so tired.
We talked honestly about it and I suggested we rev things up by having a threesome with a woman, which I had always fantasised about.
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He was really up for it. We talked online to some women and ended up picking one to meet at a hotel.
We had an amazing night with her, which I was sure my husband enjoyed as much as I did.
But he suddenly went cold on me and insisted he didn’t want to do it again — ever.
I was gutted but accepted his decision, although I still secretly fantasise about sex with the woman, which was mind-blowing.
Sexually, things are now worse with my husband than ever.
He no longer wants sex with me at all.
He seems to have lost all his confidence and his libido.
I fancy him as much as ever and miss being intimate.
How can I convince him he is enough for me — but also that wanting more isn’t always a bad thing?
DEIDRE SAYS: Although threesomes might sound like a bit of fun, emotions inevitably come into play when you bring a third party into your sex life.
It is likely that your husband enjoyed the fantasy but the reality of seeing you loving sex with a woman – something he has always been aware you were interested in – made him feel left out, uncomfortable, jealous and, ultimately, turned off.
My Thinking Of A Threesome support pack explains more.
Do you think you can be happy never having sex with a woman again?
If not, this could be a growing problem for you.
But if you are sure, you need to impress upon your husband that he is the only one for you. Show him how much he means to you.
Don’t pressure him for sex but give him lots of compliments and affection.
When he is ready, my support pack Fifty Ways To Add Fun To Sex should give you some ideas for improving your sex life together.
