DDEAR DEIDRE: I STABBED my best friend in the back by having sex with her ex and I feel so guilty now. I am a girl of 19 and my best friend is 20. We are both training to be beauticians and started apprenticeships at the same salon when we left school. She met this guy […]
DDEAR DEIDRE: I STABBED my best friend in the back by having sex with her ex and I feel so guilty now.
I am a girl of 19 and my best friend is 20. We are both training to be beauticians and started apprenticeships at the same salon when we left school.
She met this guy when he came in for a free treatment offer last summer and they swapped numbers.
He’s 23 and drop-dead gorgeous.
I met him when they’d been dating for a few months and we got on really well.
I thought she was lucky to have met him.
One day her boyfriend messaged me because he wanted to give my friend something really special for her birthday and he was looking for ideas of what she’d like.
We met secretly for a drink so I could show him some clothes and jewellery I knew she’d like that were in a magazine. I realised I fancied him.
Earlier this year my friend and I fell out.
She had been giving me a lift to work and reckoned I wasn’t contributing enough petrol money.
It was all overblown but then lockdown arrived and college and our salon both closed.
There was no chance to try to make up and we didn’t stay in touch.
During lockdown I ran into her boyfriend in the park — literally as we were both jogging.
We chatted and he said he’d broken up with my friend as it wasn’t working for him.
I knew she would have been gutted but we kept running together and he invited me back to his.
He said he had always fancied me and I admitted feeling the same.
He pulled me into him and we started kissing.
Then we went through to his bathroom for a shower and had amazing sex.
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I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterwards but he has not been in touch about meeting up again.
Now we are back at the salon my friend and I are working different days but occasionally see each other.
She apologised for being prickly over the petrol money and wants to be mates again.
She’s bleating on about how much she misses her ex but now I have this huge guilt about it all. How could I do that to her?
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Email me at problems@deardeidre.org
DEIDRE SAYS: You may have broken the “girl code” about dating a mate’s ex, but you didn’t intentionally set out to hurt her.
You had fallen out and nobody cheated.
My e-leaflet Feeling Guilty will help.
This guy hasn’t been in touch again so it’s likely he’s a bit of a player and not ready for commitment.
Perhaps best not to confess all to her but contact him saying you don’t want your friend getting hurt so would appreciate it if he could keep quiet about you running into one another.
Now lockdown is easing you can both kick-start your social lives with some safe social distancing.
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