TEEN Mom 2 star Leah Messer claimed she “blacked out” for years when she was addicted to painkillers, but she denied drug use on camera to avoid losing custody of her daughters.
The Sun has exclusively obtained an excerpt from Leah’s upcoming memoir, Hope, Grace & Faith, where she finally tells all on her drug battle after denying addiction issues for years.
In the book, which is out May 5, Leah, now 27, started to realize something was “really wrong” with her when a MTV producer told her she couldn’t keep her eyes open on camera.
The mom of twins Ali and Aleeah, 10, with ex-husband Corey Simms, and Addie, 7, with ex-spouse Jeremy Calvert, was often filmed slurring her words and nodding off mid-sentence on the show.
She wrote in the book: “The crazy thing is, I didn’t even know I was that out of it when they were filming. I’ve been taking a lot of medications, but I’m not a drug addict.”
Leah claimed in the memoir how she got a “botched” spinal tap back in 2013 when she had a C-section with Addie.
The reality star penned in the book that the hospital prescribed her with painkillers Hydrocodone, Oxycodone and Tylenol 3.
She also took Diazepam for her anxiety, which she wrote “really knocked me out.”
Leah claimed she would wake up with “intense” spinal headaches.
She wrote: “At first, the medications helped dull the pain in my body and my mind, but at some point, they stopped helping. Now, I’m starting to think they might be part of the problem.
“I just want to feel normal, but I’m either in so much physical pain that I can barely stand, or so foggy from the pills that I look like a junkie.”
When she tried to stop taking the pills, she would suffer from flu-like symptoms, including body aches and nausea.
She tried to wean herself off the medication with the help of her mom, Dawn, and her stepdad, Lee, who is a registered nurse.
But when Leah returned home, her father, who also struggled with substance abuse issues, “pressed a couple of pills” into her hand.
She would take them because of the intense pain.
Leah explained how she struggled with depression and anxiety all her life, but that the opioids sent her “over the edge.”
She wrote: “A lot of that period of my life is just a blackout to me. Even though people will tell me I did things. I don’t remember, or I’ll watch footage of myself on the show and have no memory of it.”
On the show, Corey and his wife Miranda accused Leah of drug use, but she denied the allegations.
Leah wrote: “I have to pretend I’m okay. If I slip up, even a little, it could give the twins’ dad ammunition he could use to get custody of them.”
Leah ended up losing custody of her twins for a short period in 2015. She and Corey now share 50/50.
The reality star entered a treatment facility after Teen Mom 2 producers viewed GoPro footage of her attempting to commit suicide by driving off a cliff.
When Leah first got to rehab, she checked into the hospital to detox.
She called the experience “miserable,” as she suffered from cold sweats, nausea and diarrhea for three days straight.
When she was discharged, she moved to a dorm and began the Trauma Recovery track, where she would have private and group therapy.
She said going to treatment was the “best choice” she ever made.
She ended the book with: “I’m still working on myself, growing as a person, and striving to be the best mother I can be.
“I can’t control what life throws at us, but what I can do is teach my daughters to live their lives with hope, grace, and faith.”
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