DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE just got into a relationship with a lovely man but I’ve gone off having sex with him.
I am 43 and have been seeing this guy for three months. He’s 45 and I think the world of him.
Previously, I used to be very interested in sex and for the first couple of weeks we were having a great deal of it.
But now I feel like I am being pressured into making love. He has a very high sex drive.
He has assured me that he loves me and I won’t lose him.
But I’m getting very worried that my lack of sex drive will eventually drive him away.
We have talked about this and he reassured me he is happy not to have sex some days.
But he’s soon talking about it again and I feel under pressure to perform.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Feeling pressured to have sex when your own level of sexual desire hasn’t built up again after the last time is more or less guaranteed to put anyone off.
It will help if you feel more in control of your own sex life. Think about what would suit you and then talk it over with him.
Are you up for full sex three times a week but agree to pleasure him the other days?
It won’t feel such a pressure if the offer comes from you. My e-leaflet on Different Sex Drives will help.
