DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having sex with my mum’s cleaner.
She’s wonderful and I’m falling for her – but we have to keep our love secret.
I’m 17 and she is 21. She is from Estonia and is taking a year out from university to earn some money in the UK.
She works for an agency so before the lockdown cleaned lots of people’s houses. But she liked doing my mum and stepdad’s house because she did it at weekends when it was empty.
My mum and stepdad were usually by the coast then, where they have a flat. She called round both days to feed their two cats.
I live with my dad because I don’t get on with my stepdad. I usually go round to have my tea at Mum’s two evenings a week when my stepdad is still at work.
One evening I left a workbook I needed there. I went round on the Saturday and let myself in.
This girl was mopping the kitchen floor and I gave her such a shock she dropped the mop with a crash. We both jumped.
I explained who I was and we both laughed at how startled we’d been. She said it was time for her coffee break and offered me a cup.
We got on brilliantly and I deliberately left something at Mum’s the following week so I had an excuse to call round again. It became a regular thing.
WHEN we fancy someone it is easy to persuade ourselves we are in love.
How can you tell if it is true love or mere sexual chemistry that may not last?
My leaflet Love Or Lust? will help you be sure.
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One day I brought round a couple of bottles of wine I had pinched from Dad’s cupboard so we could have a drink when she had finished cleaning.
We had a great laugh, drank both bottles and ended up going to the spare bedroom to have amazing sex.
We have continued to have sex on a regular basis but the secrecy is killing me and now it’s all going wrong.
I wanted us to be an item and for it to be out in the open but she said she would lose her job if we were found out.
Now Mum’s going to stop having a cleaner anyway because she’s too worried about her bringing coronavirus into the house.
This girl says she may have to go back to Estonia because all her work is drying up.
But I’ve fallen for her big-time.
She says she cares for me too but can’t afford to go public because my mum might complain to the agency and she wants to come back with them when the epidemic is over.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your mum would likely feel her cleaner had crossed boundaries. You are not legally under age but you are far from being a mature adult.
If you’re seriously falling for her it’s time to have a serious talk.
Does she want to keep your relationship secret just because of the work issue? Or does she not feel as seriously as you do, or has she a partner already?
If she really cares for you, be honest with your parents. If she insists on secrecy, you are probably just a bit of fun to her.
Best break with her before she breaks your heart.
