DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE a gorgeous girlfriend who all my mates envy – yet I am cheating on her. I am having sex with a woman more than twice her age. Despite knowing I risk it all going wrong on me, I have fallen for my lover big time. I am 26 and my girlfriend is 22. […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE a gorgeous girlfriend who all my mates envy – yet I am cheating on her.
I am having sex with a woman more than twice her age.
Despite knowing I risk it all going wrong on me, I have fallen for my lover big time.
I am 26 and my girlfriend is 22.
This new woman in my life is 48 and we met when I was helping out behind the bar in our local.
Often I stand in for my mate, who runs the pub, when he is not working as a tour guide.
This attractive woman started to come in on Thursdays and always perched at one end of the bar and chatted to me when there was a quiet moment.
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She is one of those people who calls a spade a spade.
She actually asked me how my sex life was.
When I told her I live with my girlfriend, who is 22 and most blokes’ idea of a dream girl, she immediately latched on to the “most blokes”.
Then she asked what was missing for me.
I found myself spilling the beans about our dull sex life.
She listened then said she could do better than that.
She suggested I went home with her when I had finished at the pub and we would “see what will happen”.
It just so happens my girlfriend goes out with her friends on Thursdays, so I did.
The sex was great — so much more varied and passionate than with my girlfriend.
I was shocked to discover this new woman’s age.
She has a great body and is very imaginative.
I find myself thinking about her constantly as the week goes by and Thursday approaches.
I have been with my regular girlfriend for more than two years.
She gets on well with my family and everyone likes her but I am not really happy.
The trouble is I think she would be devastated if we parted and couldn’t manage without my wages.
AROUND 85,000 women are raped in England and Wales every year and the rapist is far more likely to be someone known to them.
My e-leaflet Have You Been Raped? explains support available.
Email me or private message me on Facebook for a copy.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have two issues to sort out here and it is best not to muddle them together.
If you are not happy sharing your life with your girlfriend, you must talk to her about what is wrong and if you can together make the changes needed.
If not, you must separate, even if she will struggle without you financially.
Neither of you will be happy like this long-term, and this is your life, not your mates.
Put your affair at least on hold while you sort this out.
Cheating is never the answer and your relationship doesn’t stand much chance while you keep finding sex elsewhere.
If you break with your girlfriend, you can think whether you see this older woman as a long-term partner.
If you know you’d never want to see her openly, then it is unfair to use her for secret sex.
My e-leaflet Do Age Gaps Matter? will help.
