DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with a guy I met in a chatroom is great and I’ve fallen in love with him – but he’s just announced he has got engaged to another man.
I am a woman of 28. I felt sick when he told me and couldn’t believe it when he asked me to stay as his bit on the side so we can have nice times together. He’s 36.
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We met online when I was going through a tough time. I had moved from the area where I was near all my friends to take care of my mum in her final months with cancer and she had just died.
I was lonely so joined this chat site and we met in the first week. We exchanged texts and spoke on the phone.
I wanted to meet but he kept on coming up with excuses.
Eventually, I got fed up and it fizzled out between us.
Then he texted out of the blue earlier this year to say his brother had been killed in a car crash and, of course, I was supportive.
He started saying he loved me and knew I loved him.
We got into video chatting and finally met up. We only live an hour apart so we have been able to see a lot of one another over the past six months.
We’ve been having sex, which seemed great for us both, and I’ve fallen in love with him.
Then came this bolt out of the blue. We’d just seen each other and it had been lovely, but then he texted to say he is bisexual and he is marrying his fiancé next month.
When I did some hunting on social media I could see they’ve been together for five years.
He gave me a sob story saying he was unsure and was afraid of his fiancé and his family who can be violent.
Now he’s asked me to get a flat nearby, so we could still see one another after his wedding.
THREE out of five couples are unsatisfied with their sex life and often it is just down to lazy habits rather than a specific problem.
My e-leaflet How To Have Great Sex is a guide to getting the basics right which can help beginners and those needing a sexual MOT.
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I believe he has given me nothing but a load of lies but he keeps telling me he is a nice guy.
I don’t think he has a clue what he’s done to me. I don’t even want him to leave his fiancé for me because he is nothing but a cheat in my eyes, but should I tell his fiancé what sort of man he is marrying?
DEIDRE SAYS: I don’t think you can believe a word this man says, so it is best to draw a line and move on. Chalk this up to experience.
He and his fiancé have been together a long time so his fiancé should have the measure of him without you getting involved.
Block him on your phone and social media and look afresh at what you want in life from here on.
You met this guy at a vulnerable time for you so first look at healing.
Are you still raw from losing your mum? You can find support through Cruse bereavement care (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677).
Are you going to move back to where your friends are or do you need to rebuild a social circle?
My e-leaflet Widening Your Social Life can help you get out there and make friends face to face. It’s usually more reliable than going online.
