In a recent Reddit post shared to r/relationshipadvice, site user Dizzy_Yak2174 revealed that she was “pissed,” asking “how do I get {past} this?”
The 45-year-old revealed that she’d been married to her husband (who is a decade older than her) for five years.
On Saturday, she says, the couple went out to dinner and got served by a notably young waitress, “to the point where she walked away and [the] hubby said ‘she doesn’t look old enough to have a job!’”.
Later that evening, things took a turn for the romantic.
“Later that night in bed, things are heating up and he says ‘you know, to that server, you are like an old lady!’ out of the blue,” the poster wrote.
“I am fit, work out regularly, and am routinely told I look 10 years younger than I am,” she shared. Meanwhile, she says her husband sometimes gets offered seniors discounts due to his white hair.
“His comment has changed how I look at myself, and how I feel like he looks at me, entirely. I know it was one little remark, but I am totally spun out,” she wrote.
She added that it was “weird” he was thinking of the server when they were being intimate, and “it’s weird that he’s projecting imaginary thoughts into our server’s head and then voicing them.”
“I am just feeling very weird about the whole thing, and have NO desire to be naked in front of this man anytime soon,” she added.
She ended her post by asking, “What would possess someone to say something like this to their partner, and how do I get past it?”
“I’m sorry, things were “heating up” in bed and he proceeded to… tell you that you look old? Out of the blue like that? What the fuck? This is completely tone deaf and thoughtless at best, callous and cruel at worst,” one person said.
“He’s insecure and wants you to be also. You look younger than your years and he looks older than his, and he’s salty about it. He’s negging you to bring you down,” another wrote.
Yet another Redditor shared, “My husband used to freak out about my eating habits. He would tell me that he missed me looking like when we first met. It was all bullshit because I was actually exactly the same size as when we first met.”
They added, “After a while, I realised that he was concerned about his size and he was projecting. Every time his belt notch increased, we had a conversation about eating. Sounds like your husband is doing the equivalent to you.”
What do you think?
