7 secrets scientists know about the sex lives of ordinary people

Shutterstock

Let's talk about sex.

Everyone's interested, but it can be taboo to discuss the most intimate details of your bedroom in social situations. So how do we learn about sex?

The answer is science.

Sex researchers get wide berth to ask people the down-and-dirty details of their sex lives.

A quick caveat: Sex research is tricky because people lie, from inflating their sexual prowess to downplaying their most shameful (or just stigmatized) secrets. And researchers often rely on samples that are not terribly diverse. 

Still, sex scientists learn more about your neighbors and friends than you probably would ever want to. Here's what they know.

1) Most people are kinkier than you think they are.

REUTERS/Hannibal Hanschke

A study in the Journal of Sex Research found that at least a third of survey respondents engaged in some kind of behavior we usually think of as "kinky."

Most popular were voyeurism (watching others have sex), fetishism (getting turned on by inanimate, non-sexual objects), and extended exhibitionism (having sex somewhere you could be caught).

Men and women were also found to be equally adventurous in bed.

2) Plenty of people experiment with their sexuality — even if they don't identify as gay.

David Silverman/Getty

In the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, only 7% of women and 8% of men identified themselves as something "other than heterosexual."

But when researchers asked if respondents had homosexual experiences, more that that said they had a same-sex hookup at some point in their lives.

Another study that found that one in 10 self-identifying straight men in New York City were having sex with men. And a report from Florida State University found that 11% of women surveyed said they'd had same-sex experiences in their lifetimes.

It's worth noting that as long as homosexuality is still stigmatized in some communities, these numbers probably under-represent what goes on in real life. 

3) She might not "finish" as often as he thinks she does.

Pedro Ribeiro Simões / Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior also found that when they asked men if their partner had an orgasm last time that they had sex, 85% said yes.

But when the researchers asked women if they came the last time they had sex, only 64% said they had. (The gap is too big to only be attributed to men who had orgasms with other men.)

See the rest of the story at Business Insider