Study Finds Macaws Evolved Vibrant Coloration To Pass The Time

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Claiming there simply wasn’t much else going on for the birds over the past several million years, a study published Tuesday by Harvard University ornithologists found that macaws evolved their vibrant coloration as a way to pass the time. “According to our research, macaws’ striking plumage arose as a result of the New World parrots having essentially zero other avenues to keep themselves occupied from day to day,” said the study’s lead author, David Tuppman, adding that macaws likely diverged from their closest genetic relatives to develop eye-popping reds and greens around the time they realized it was either that or sit around “bored out of their skulls” for the next few eons. “Our data suggests that macaws could only hang out in trees doing jack shit for so long before they had to find something, anything, to keep busy. Without opposable thumbs to twiddle or a deck of cards to get a game of poker going, evolving rainbow-hued feathers was the next best thing macaws could do to break up the monotony of their existence.” The researchers added that, in recent years, several species of macaw had been observed gradually losing their coloration after taking up an interest in professional wrestling instead. 

The post Study Finds Macaws Evolved Vibrant Coloration To Pass The Time appeared first on The Onion.