CHARLOTTE, NC—After finding only a large, plain envelope with his name on it under the tree, local foster child Dylan Mayfield reportedly began to worry Wednesday that the few measly sheets of paper solidifying his adoption would be his only Christmas present this year. “That was a really nice gesture and all, and they seemed so excited, but I specifically asked for a basketball or a dirt bike,” said the newly minted permanent member of the local Johnson family, feigning a smile as he secretly prayed that the legal document was only the first of many presents he would open on the morning of Dec. 25. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited about officially becoming part of their family, but if they had given me the choice, I probably would have picked the new Lego Horizon Adventures game. I’m sure the lawyers and the whole process cost a lot of money, but this doesn’t really account for Santa—did he not swing by with anything from my list? At least let me open up something wrapped in festive paper. I’d even settle for a bow slapped on a bag of candy.” Mayfield told reporters he had tried to trade with his foster sister for a better gift, only to find out she got the same boring thing.
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