HOUSTON—In a devastating accident that left the entire downtown area in smoldering ruins, officials confirmed Tuesday that the Houston skyline had been knocked over by a large, playful sheepdog named Gus. According to eyewitnesses, the 3-year-old Old English sheepdog tore through the business district,
bumping into the TC Energy Center and whacking over the JPMorgan Chase Tower with his tail. Houston’s 2.3 million residents reportedly called out “Down, boy, down!” and “Bad Gus, no!” in a futile attempt to control the over-excited, rampaging animal, who was wound up after being released outside into the metropolitan area for the first time all afternoon. Several reports indicated that residents and commuters screamed in terror as the dog was observed lifting its leg to relieve itself. At press time, sources said the dog had caused massive pileups across the city after frantically running circles around Interstate 610.
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