Nazi March Condemned For Not Procuring Proper Permits

COLUMBUS, OH—Receiving widespread condemnation from residents and government officials alike, the neo-Nazi march that took place in Ohio’s capital on Saturday was slammed for not procuring the proper permits. “This is not the kind of nation we are—this is a country where we go down to city hall and complete all the proper forms before parading through the street with red masks and swastika flags,” said 53-year-old Jillian Fischer, who has resided in the city for decades, adding that she was horrified by seeing such a blatantly unsanctioned event. “It’s absolutely disgusting that anyone would fail to go through the appropriate bureaucratic channels like this in the year 2024. If I wanted to strike fear into the hearts of my Jewish neighbors, I would pay $110 first like a true American.” At press time, the neo-Nazis had apologized for making the harmful assumption that people would just be excited to have a parade.

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