Doug Emhoff Forced To Sit In Corner Of Election Party After Getting Too Hyper

WASHINGTON—Squirming and saying “no, no, no” while aides attempted to calm him down, second gentleman of the United States Doug Emhoff was forced to sit in a corner at his wife’s election night watch party after getting too hyper, sources reported Tuesday. “Okay, Doug, I know it’s exciting to watch Kamala run for president, but I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and count to 100,” said campaign aide Tara Friedland, who just moments earlier had grabbed the overly excited 60-year-old lawyer by the ear after he jumped up from his seat, began sprinting around, and let out several high-pitched screams. “Doug, look at me. Remember what we talked about. Election night is a grown-ups’ event. And when we are at a grown-ups’ event, we don’t do cartwheels, we don’t throw our food, and we don’t jump up on the table and steal the microphone when Kamala is talking. Do you understand?” At press time, Emhoff had reportedly been placed in a limousine and driven back to the vice president’s official residence after he took his shirt off, ran up on stage, and bit several Secret Service agents.

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