A NON-LEAGUE manager has gone viral for his hilarious post-match rant in which he declared: “I hope our players have Sudocrem because they’ve had their a***s slapped.”
Michael Birmingham was incensed with his Horndean FC players after their woeful performance on Saturday.
The Deans were thumped 4-0 away at Raynes Park Vale in the Isthmian South Central Division to sit 13th in the table on 11 points from nine matches.
And he did not hold back at all in his epic interview.
Birmingham – who last season labelled his Horndean players a “bunch of losers” – said: “I hope our players have got plenty of Sudocrem at home because they’ve had their a***s slapped today.
“Fair play to Raynes Park, they were the better side by a mile, best side we’ve played this season, ruthless.
“I thought the centre forward, No20 up top, was absolutely magnificent.
“I wish I had one of them. At the moment I’ve got four token gestures as a centre forward – not even four put together can resemble anything to do with him.
“The only positive to come out of that was that I had a cracking pasty before the game, that was about it.”
Birmingham was asked what his Hampshire side need to do to get back on track after four straight defeats in all competitions.
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He continued: “Not when you concede 13 goals in four games it’s not.
“We conceded three goals in the last three games and then four today.
“To be honest, it should have been more today.
“To me, it is the basics – they wanted it, the second balls.
“When they were 3-0, 4-0 up, the desire, the press… they still went and hunted because they’ve got standards.
“All my lot ain’t got no standards.
“They don’t give a s***, they just turn up and think, ‘Here we go, we’ll go through the motions.’
“Today they got found out and do you know what? I hope it hurt and all, I hope they can’t sit down for a week and I hope they run out of Sudocrem.”
Unsurprisingly, the video of Birmingham spread rapidly on social media, with the original Horndean clip racking up more than 500,000 views in less than 24 hours.
And fans could not get enough of the superb content.
One said: “Wish the Premier League managers were this honest.”
Another wrote: “How refreshing to hear a manager tell the truth about his team’s poor performance.”
A third added: “If this doesn’t rouse the Horndean players then nothing will.”
And a final user simply commented: “He’s a legend.”
Birmingham is not the only non-league manager to lose his rag in spectacular post-match interviews.
Barnet’s Dean Brennan hit out at his own supporters for their negativity in a raging monologue.
And Dorking Wanderers gaffer Marc White accused his “f***ing s*** players” of “letting the fans down 100 per cent, wholeheartedly”.
