Ultra-Processed Foods: Myth Vs. Fact

Ultra-processed foods are a category of foods that includes frozen pizzas, sodas, and sweetened breakfast cereals. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding ultra-processed foods. 

MYTH: Ultra-processed foods contain few nutrients.

FACT: Ultra-processed foods are rich in simple carbohydrates, sodium, and trans fats.

MYTH: Ultra-processed foods have little value.

FACT: It’s impossible to quantify how much fun eating chips off your fingertips is.

MYTH: Homemade versions are always healthier than ultra-processed alternatives.

FACT: You use two sticks of butter in your spaghetti recipe.

MYTH: Foods with long ingredient lists should be avoided.

FACT: It’s best to just give up and acclimate yourself to a future of freeze-dried, bunker-stable food now.

MYTH: Multiple studies have linked ultra-processed foods to depression. 

FACT: Most people are perfectly capable of developing depression regardless of what they eat.

MYTH: The human body needs 10 servings of salted meats a day.

FACT: Dear Lord, no! This explains a lot, but still, dear Lord.

MYTH: Some ultra-processed foods are actually good for you.

FACT: No, hon. You cannot just have Oreos for dinner. 

MYTH: Ultra-processed foods lead to heart disease.

FACT: You gotta die of something.

The post Ultra-Processed Foods: Myth Vs. Fact appeared first on The Onion.