NEW YORK—In an approach made with parted, tongue-moistened lips and very little warning, a big open mouth was reportedly headed straight for local woman Sylvia Escolero’s face Thursday, saying she was so beautiful and it wanted to kiss her. Sources confirmed Escolero, who was struck silent by the sudden development and had time only to brace herself, had barely turned her head in the direction of the mouth when its impending collision became unavoidable, the stubble-covered chin dropping downward and the chasm above opening to its full diameter. According to reports, the phrase “You seem great” issued forth from the beer-scented jaws as they drew near, a massive tongue unfurling out of the abyss like a fat, wet flag and pushing its heft beyond the woman’s closed lips to lie flat in her mouth. At press time, slurping sounds were heard ringing out as the big mouth began to lick her teeth, the eyes above it wide-open and staring from one inch away.
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