Sometimes our loved ones need a nudge to share a bit more than they might’ve otherwise.
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As I watch my friends grow older and enter new phases of life, I’ve noticed a common thread: Year after year, many of us happen upon questions we wish we’d asked the loved ones who are no longer with us. Some of these questions are capacious: What kind of friend were they in their youth? Others focus on the everyday: What was the one song they couldn’t live without? And what, exactly, was that famous chocolate-cake recipe?
It’s not realistic, of course, to ask every single question while we can. But sometimes our loved ones need a nudge to share a bit more than they might’ve otherwise: “You may be surprised by how much your parents and grandparents haven’t told you, perhaps because they thought you wouldn’t be interested, or they weren’t sure how you’d judge them,” Elizabeth Keating wrote in 2022. Opening that door can lead to insight you never knew existed.
On Oral History
The Questions We Don’t Ask Our Families but Should
By Elizabeth Keating
Many people don’t know very much about their older relatives. But if we don’t ask, we risk never knowing our own history.
The Underestimated Reliability of Oral Histories
By Stephen E. Nash and Sapiens
Not only written narratives have stood the test of time.
What Ordinary Family Photos Teach Us About Ourselves
By Syreeta McFadden
A new book honors unsung figures who have for generations captured the most delicate moments of Black life. (From 2023)
Still Curious?
Other Diversions
P.S.
I recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. Antoine A., 28, from Versailles, France, sent a photo of Solalex, “a small hamlet in Switzerland, at the foot of the Diablerets mountains.”
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— Isabel
