It’s not uncommon for friends to pass on baby paraphernalia to help keep the costs of becoming a new parent down – especially given just how expensive everything is right now.
But what happens if you lend something to a friend with the expectation you’ll have it back, only to find out they’ve given it away?
That’s the situation one parent found themselves in – and doing what plenty of enraged parents do in these situations, they took to Mumsnet to share their complete and utter dismay.
The anonymous parent, who has a seven- and three-year-old, said their friend had found out they were expecting just over two years ago and had asked to borrow their pram.
They had been about to move the pram on, the parent explained, with the hope of selling it for around £300 – but they kindly said their friend could use the pram first and added they’d sell it on when they were done.
Two years later, the parent discovered their friend was having a second baby and had purchased a new pram for them. Cue, the drama.
“We asked about our one and [it] turns out they gave it away a year ago,” said the angry parent, adding that the friends are wealthy so “wouldn’t have needed the money.”
“I’m upset that they wouldn’t offer it back to us first,” said the parent, who added in a later comment that they hadn’t said anything to the friend about this.
“It’s sentimental value but also we could have sold it! And now they’re having another, they’re buying a new pram, it just seems a waste.”
They concluded: “I think my emotions are just high and I get when you give something away you have no rights to it, but my understanding was we were lending rather than giving.”
Most people agreed it was rude of the friend to just pass the pram on without asking first – especially if the parent had made it clear they wanted it back to sell it.
“That is out of order! Really rude of them, I would be cross too,” said one person in the comments section.
“If you definitely said lend and that you’d want it back they should have returned it,” said another.
But others chipped in that wording matters and wondered whether the parent was explicit enough in this situation, stating that they definitely wanted it back.
“Are you sure you were clear you were lending it? That’s quite an ambiguous situation. I’ve sold some stuff and I’ve given some to my brother. An open-ended loan is open to misinterpretation,” said one commenter.
Another person suggested giving them a bit of grace. “If they’re good friends then they won’t have wanted to piss you off, they’ve just misremembered what was said 2.5 years ago. And a good friendship certainly isn’t worth jeopardising over this tiny monetary amount,” they added.
One thing’s for sure, if you’re planning on lending something to a friend or relative that you definitely want back, make sure you communicate it explicitly. Otherwise it could end in tears...