AFTER what seems like an eternity – though actually it’s about two and a half years – the Wagatha Christie saga is almost over. And there is only one Man Of The Match.
The ludicrous dispute finally concluded in the High Court on Thursday, with a lengthy wait now before the judge delivers her verdict, ending one of the ugliest soap operas in showbiz history.
But before we all retire, having reached our own not-at-all legally binding conclusions, I’ll put forward a final, closing argument amid the sea of “They’re all dreadful, everybody loses” commentary.
So here it is. The winner, by miles? It’s . . . Jamie Vardy. Bear with me.
The Leicester City ace hasn’t always been whiter than white.
He played professional football with an electronic tag on his ankle early in his career and found himself at the centre of a racism scandal over an ugly comment seven years ago.
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But since then, he has seemingly turned himself into a suited, booted and altogether gentrified reincarnation of a one-time footballing rogue – who, in moves reminiscent of his playing style, has poached goals throughout the legal wrangle and come out worthy of a medal.
Firstly, he’s barely said a word – keeping his head down for months while the daft battle between his wife Rebekah and Wayne Rooney’s missus Coleen turned increasingly toxic.
When it finally and bewilderingly reached court, Jamie kept away from the limelight almost entirely – aside from one perfectly choreographed appearance in which he dutifully held his wife’s hand and escorted her to and from the courtroom.
Having brusquely marched her past the nation’s media, he ensured a representative delivered autographs to fans of the mother of two, patiently waiting in the hope of spotting their heroine.
Afterwards – not under oath – he made a single statement in defence of his wife, rebutting the claims made by Wayne, while smartly attired in a sharp and well-fitted suit and tie.
Whether it is simply stoicism or something closer to Stockholm syndrome, he played an absolute blinder throughout.
On top of that, he even scored an impressive four Premier League goals in three games as the hearing dragged on.
My verdict: There are few winners in this sorry affair, but Jamie should take the match ball home.
Ideally, instead of Becky.
RINA Sawayama became a hit in pop circles with debut album Sawayama two years ago but now she is blasting into the mainstream with brand new music.
The Japanese-British singer, who counts Sir Elton John among her biggest fans, wore this cowgirl-inspired outfit as she performed her brilliant new single This Hell on US telly on Thursday evening.
The belting tune is sure to help Rina become a household name this year, but she also hopes it will empower people after a tough spell.
In an exclusive chat with Bizarre, she said: “I love hiding politics in a pop song and that’s what I hope I’ve done with this.
“The deeper story behind it is that I’ve got a lot of friends who have been told by people with very traditional religious beliefs that they are wrong for existing, and it has caused so much trauma in their lives.
“It’s about having a party in hell, because someone tells us we are going to hell. Like, ‘Oh we’re going to hell? Cool, I’ll get all dressed up then’.”
It is the first single from her second album Hold The Girl, out on September 2, which will be full of “bigger” songs than her debut, with some inspired by her idols, like Lady Gaga.
Rina said of her encounter with the superstar last month: “I met her for the first time because our bus broke down outside Vegas.
“I was like, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we just spent the night in Vegas and saw a show. Imagine if Gaga is on’.
“We had a connection because I was on her remix album.
“I was able to meet her for the first time backstage and she was so sweet, so warm and so full of life.
“She is so influential to me. I don’t really get nervous before meeting people, like I didn’t before meeting Elton. But I was a bit nervous before meeting Lady Gaga.”
But on rumours that Rina will support Gaga on her tour this summer, she added: “It’s all in Gaga’s hands.”
DOJA CAT has hinted her trip to the UK to perform at Glastonbury and Wireless Festival could be in jeopardy after she had to have emergency throat surgery.
She is due to fly here in a month’s time for the string of shows but told her followers on Twitter to expect “bad news” following her treatment for an infected abscess.
The Say So rapper, tweeted: “Doctor just had to cut into my left tonsil. I had an abscess in it. My whole throat is f***ed so I might have some bad news for y’all coming soon.
“My tonsils got infected and I was taking f***ing antibiotics but forgot that I was taking them. Then I drank wine and was vaping all day long and then I started getting a nasty-a** growth on my tonsil so they had to do surgery on it today.
“I cried and it hurt a lot but I’m OK.”
IT is always annoying when kids knock on the door and run away, but New Yorkers must have had a different reaction when they realised the people outside were actually Harry Styles and James Corden.
My exclusive photos show the pair fooling around in Brooklyn this week while filming for James’s Late Late Show.
They were seen ringing doorbells and talking to random people via intercom as part of a segment which is expected to air next week, following yesterday’s release of Harry’s third album, Harry’s House.
To celebrate the record, he played a special show at New York’s UBS Arena last night and will be jetting back to London in the coming days ahead of a sold-out one-off show at Brixton Academy on Tuesday.
He will also headline Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Coventry next weekend and Capital FM’s Summertime Ball days later.
And all of that is before he kicks off the European leg of his Love On Tour gigs. He’s a busy boy.
ASHLEY Roberts is spreading her wings after the Pussycat Dolls split up – by bagging her own radio show.
The singer got into the groove in this butterfly top to announce the new venture on Heart 00s.
The show, which launches next Saturday afternoon, will exclusively play hits released between 2000 and 2009.
Ashley wrote on Instagram: “Ready for some Noughties fun hunnis?! I am!!
“Super-excited to announce I’ll be hosting my own radio show based around all the epic tunes of the 00s.
“Get ready with me Saturday nights from 4-7pm on Heart 00s.”
CHARLI XCX got emotional as she performed her biggest headline show to date, at London’s Alexandra Palace.
She played a sold-out gig there on Thursday evening and told the crowd: “This is extremely f***ing overwhelming.”
Fighting back tears, she continued: “Seriously, thank you so much for being here tonight.
“I never thought I’d be able to do this.
“It’s taken a really long time and I feel like the reason I have got here is because of a really incredible team who are around me.”
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It has been an amazing year for Charli, who scored her first No1 album with Crash in March and has been performing across the US and UK since then.
She will perform in Norwich tonight, Sheffield tomorrow and Nottingham on Monday, so try to make it to any of them if you want to see her electrifying show.
