SUN writer Deborah James says she did not want her children to see her suffer at the end of her life — and just craved one last cuddle.
The 40-year-old — who has raised £3million in three days with her Bowelbabe Fund — praised husband Seb for his “incredible support” and told him “don’t marry a bimbo”.
She has stopped her bowel cancer treatment and is receiving end of life care at her parent’s home.
Deborah broke down in tears on BBC Breakfast yesterday, main picture, recalling the emotional conversations she had with her children, Eloise, 12, and Hugo, 14.
And she told The Times: “It’s been hideous telling my children. My first thought was ‘I don’t want them to see me like this’.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to speak to them without crying, but I’d love one last cuddle.”
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The cancer campaigner said she has been working through her “death admin”, with letters to her kids top of her “To Do” list.
She explained: “I want them to have letters at milestones, and funny messages: Here’s my advice on your wedding day; what to do on a first date.”
Of husband Seb, she said: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my husband so emotional. He’s suddenly realised the enormity of this.
“I have given him strict instructions: I want him to move on. He’s a handsome man, I’m like, ‘Don’t be taken for a ride, don’t marry a bimbo, find someone else who can make you laugh like we did’.”
Deborah has also planned her funeral, to spare her family the ordeal.
She said: “It sounds morbid, but I want a sombre funeral in black and white because I think people look good in black and white.
“I’m thinking of asking people to bring a photo or funny anecdote, so my family can collect the memories. I want, Tell Me It’s Not True, from Blood Brothers played.
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“My children love reading poems with me. If they would be up for it, I’d like them to read.”
Donate at www.bowelbabe.org.
