DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex on the morning of my wedding – but it wasn’t with my husband-to-be, it was with one of his best friends. I’ve never done anything like that before and I’m considering telling my husband because I’m paranoid someone else will. We got married last August and I had been getting increasingly […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex on the morning of my wedding – but it wasn’t with my husband-to-be, it was with one of his best friends.
I’ve never done anything like that before and I’m considering telling my husband because I’m paranoid someone else will.
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
We got married last August and I had been getting increasingly jittery over the previous weeks, asking myself if I was doing the right thing.
We are childhood sweethearts and I’ve never slept with anyone else before.
I’m 26, and work in a nursery, and he is 27, and is a school caterer.
I love him so much and I’m worried that my moment of madness could ruin everything.
On the morning of my wedding, my bridesmaids had gone into town to have their hair and make-up done.
While they were out one of my husband’s best friends and groomsmen arrived at my flat to pick up the buttonholes.
He could see I wasn’t myself and asked how I was doing. It all spilled out and I told him about my worries.
He was giving me a reassuring cuddle when I felt the chemistry between both of us shift.
Before I could catch my breath he had undone my robe and we were having fast and furious sex in my front room.
I was in a proper state by the time my bridesmaids returned, and my best friend and maid of honour saw there was something wrong.
I ended up confiding in her. Since then I have really tried to invest in my marriage.
I feel awful and am grateful that because of all the restrictions I haven’t had to see my husband’s friend. But I am having trouble sleeping.
While I completely trust my best friend not to say anything, I’m terrified his mate may let it slip.
Would it be better if I come clean to my husband?
The pain of loss
Struggling to cope after losing a loved one?
Email deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk for the Coping With Bereavement support pack – and read my advice on Facebook, Twitter or at the-sun.co.uk/deidre.
DEIDRE SAYS: Wedding jitters bring up a whole heap of emotions.
You were nervous and unfortunately your husband’s groomsman took advantage of your vulnerable state.
You sound genuinely regretful and I can see you won’t be repeating this mistake. There is nothing to gain by beating yourself up.
You are far better to offload your guilty feelings on a counsellor than your husband.
Keep investing in your relationship. I’m sure your husband’s groomsman will never want it to get out either – he risks losing his whole friendship group.
But it is worth talking to him. Tell him it will never happen again and from now on you are a married woman.
Reiterate how much it would hurt your husband to find out.
I’m sure he is as worried as you that it might come out.
GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL exclusive@the-sun.co.uk
