As we begin to rightfully eulogize another Cleveland Browns season, make no mistake about what happened on the Lake Erie lakefront. When the Browns traded for Deshaun Watson, who once faced more than 20 allegations of sexual misconduct in what the NFL would later characterize as “predatory behavior,” they did this to themselves.
The Browns jettisoned a perfectly capable Baker Mayfield, traded a veritable farm of first-round picks, and gave $230 million guaranteed to a high-profile quarterback accused of sexual abuse by dozens of women. He then promptly turned into the NFL’s premier pumpkin of pumpkins. He is an incompetent quarterback who is utterly unplayable but who probably can’t be benched because of his contract and general office politics:
I don’t know if karma really exists because I’m not omniscient, but it’s hard not to watch Watson’s now 1-4 Browns and think anything else happened here. It’s gotten so bad in Cleveland that Watson is quitting on his team in the middle of games because he doesn’t know the Browns’ offense enough.
Talk about a loser mentality from an already horrific leader personified:
I will readily admit that I expected (and feared) Watson’s Browns would be a Super Bowl contender when they traded for him. Beyond the overzealous Browns who sold their soul for Watson, I don’t think I’m the only one. A three-time Pro Bowler with the Houston Texans, it was easy to envision Watson breaking the game every week for Cleveland. He really was that good during his time in Houston.
From a certain respect, Watson did end up breaking the game every week, just not in the way the Browns or anyone who had watched him as a football player foresaw.
Through 20 games with the Browns, Watson has a total of just barely over 3,000 passing yards, 19 touchdowns, and 12 interceptions. He has completed roughly 60 percent of his passes, averages less than a paltry 6.0 yards per pass attempt, and he gets sacked an astonishing 10.2 percent of the time. (Psst, sacks are a quarterback stat.) It gets worse. According to RBDSM.com, on an expected points added (EPA) and completion percentage over expected (CPOE) basis, Watson is the 63rd-best quarterback in the NFL since he threw his first pass with the Browns in 2022. He is a shell of whatever player we once saw in Houston, and at this point, it’s time to give up the idea of him returning to that superstar form.
Again: 63rd! How is that real???
For all intents and purposes, with Watson, we are looking at someone who might genuinely be the worst quarterback in Browns history — an organization that has rostered Brady Quinn, Johnny Manziel, and Tim Couch, among so many others. And when you consider how much the Browns surrendered just to get Watson in their uniform, that is absolutely staggering. That is reaching transcendent levels of ineptitude and hopelessness. It’s almost artful.
In the interest of being a tried and true hater, I won’t pretend to be upset about any of this Browns/Watson debacle, though. Nor do I feel bad for anyone involved. Because I don’t. That’s not what this column is about. I’m actually dancing on the Browns’ grave.
This mess, dearest readers, is what the sad-sack Browns get for moving mountains to abandon all semblance of moral principles in pursuit of football relevance. This is what they get for prioritizing fake sports success over tangible human beings. They get Watson, the worst quarterback and leader in the NFL, dragging them down into the dark abyss with him for the foreseeable future.
In a way, seeing the Browns flounder like this is comforting. It shows us that bad people don’t always win in life.
Elsewhere in this week’s NFL awards, the Bills blew a winnable game with an overly aggressive offensive strategy, two young quarterbacks started to come into their own, and Jordan Love paid tribute to Will Levis in the worst way. Let’s get to it.
