NEVER mind points deductions and penalties…there’s only one way to make it a level playing field against Manchester City.
Forget all talk of hearings, panels, legal rows between highly paid barristers. It’s a lot easier than that – tie Erling Haaland’s legs together.
That’s the only way to do it. Only then, will the rest of football have a chance…although he’ll still probably manage to stick a couple away.
They certainly haven’t at the moment, the way City’s striking Viking is banging them in for fun.
Two more today – now just one shy of a century for the champions – and barring a coat of paint when the rattled the woodwork late on it would have been a third straight hat-trick.
Records everywhere you looked again, in fact…not least City extending their own one of 46 home games unbeaten.
Throw in 13 Prem wins on the bounce, 26 top flight without defeat and five on the bounce is already looming large…serial winners doesn’t even come close for this lot.
Brentford were actually the last side to beat the four-on-the-bounce champions at the Etihad, in November 2022.
They tend to give them a decent fight on most occasions, to be fair and yesterday took just 22 seconds to prove the point, with the quickest Prem goal of the season.
Kristoffer Ajer crossed from the right, Keane Lewis-Potter headed from the left, and when John Stones’ swipe only sent the ball arcing high, Yoane Wissa nodded it in.
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City were, frankly, all over the place. Not merely for the opener, but every time the Bees went forward – and to be fair, they did much of that in the early minutes.
Bryan Mbeumo got behind a flat-footed backline and had two bites at adding a second, only to find a stubborn Rico Lewis in his way on both occasions.
If City’s defence against those alleged financial breaches is as dodgy as it was on the pitch at times yesterday, they’ll be heading for the National Conference before they know it.
It wasn’t the first time they had been caught napping by flying starts, either. Ipswich did likewise in the previous game here.
Mind you, they soon discovered the dangers of poking the bear, as City bit back with a quickfire salvo. Well guess what…Brentford now know the same.
Fair enough, it did take 20 minutes before the champions hauled themselves level, and there was plenty of huffing and puffing without a serious threat before that.
But then suddenly bang, there it was. A quickfire swivel and strike from the deadliest finisher in the game, spinning onto Kevin De Bruyne’s touch, and it was all square.
For Haaland, a goal in memory of Ivar Eggja, the close family friend who passed away this week. Not the greatest he’ll ever score, but certainly full of emotion.
And little over ten minutes later he had a second to add to it, with a goal that the antithesis of the pat-a-cake passing game City play so much better than anyone else.
This one came courtesy of one downfield punt from keeper Ederson, an awesome show of strength from Haaland and the soft and intricate touch of a surgeon to finish it off.
Bees’ defender Ethan Pinnock is no seven stone weakling of a centre back, but bounced off Haaland as he slowed to get a better run at the ball, before a subtle dink into the corner.
City fans taunted Pinnock with mocking chants of “he’s stronger than you,” although to be fair he’s stronger than everyone, so they can pretty much belt that out every week.
For Haaland, that made it nine goals in his first four games – edging him one ahead of Wayne Rooney, in 2011, for the Prem’s deadliest start over such a period.
With the thick end of an hour still to play, you wouldn’t have got rich on the odds they’d have quoted on a third successive hat-trick at that stage.
So maybe, in the land of small mercies, Brentford should be patting themselves on the back at not conceding any more from that point.
Admittedly they rarely looked like scoring a second themselves, either, but plenty of opponents have buckled and been battered in similar positions.
Although on another occasion City might well have finished with half a dozen, never mind merely another match ball for Haaland.
Christian Norgaard stretched out a leg to deny Ilkay Gundogan a tap in, Kyle Walker fizzed a long ranger inches over and Mark Flekken went full length to reach a Jack Grealish strike.
It wasn’t the only impressive save the Brentford keeper made, with a pantomime-villain stretch to stop Haaland side footing a hat-trick.
Then a jabbed right boot when Savinho went through – second before the Brazilian shaved the upright with another drive.
And finally Haaland rattled the post when the whole of the Etihad was willing him to make it the perfect finale. Still, you don’t imagine he’ll be waiting too long for another match ball.
