These old dogs really had me worried for a minute. I was genuinely concerned that this would be a sexless season of The Challenge. Me of little faith!
When the Challengers return home to their janky abode after losing eight brothers in debauchery to the invitational, they’re horned up and ready to get frisky. While Nia and Josh canoodle in the pool, Emily and Brad steam up the showers. Emily thinks Brad is “really hot” because she has a thing for “beards and biceps.” Personally, I stay away from guys who look like they were cast as alternates on Duck Dynasty, but I’m thrilled Emily can still play the hits after a decade-long Challenge hiatus.
The players march into their next daily challenge, where the Eras will finally compete as teams. T.J. informs the teams that they’ll each need to choose a male and female “representative” before they begin, with no further context. I sincerely hope that they are not representing anyone in a legal or government capacity — you should have to know how many seconds are in five minutes to be able to qualify for that (Hint: the answer is not 50).
The representatives are Jodi and Darrell (Era I), Derek and Aviv (Era II), Tony and Averey (Era III), and Kaycee and Kyland (Era IV). It doesn’t appear that the representatives have any special control of the Challenge, like assigning roles or choosing a strategy, so it seems they’re representatives in name only, like when your mom would have you be her “sous chef” to cajole you into peeling potatoes for dinner.
The Daily is titled Gladieater, and after rowing a giant dragon boat around an island, the players will need to eat an array of Vietnamese delicacies, from a snake and rat medley to boiled cow eyes. There’s even “stinky tofu” for the vegans, with a cursive nameplate indicating that it’s both gluten and lactose-free like it’s some trendy grain bowl from Erewhon. Once the food has been choked down, the players must arrange 40 shields adorned with The Challenge logos from each season in the right order to secure their win.
Boat stuff is never that fun to watch; it takes everything in me not to start browsing novelty glassware on TikTok Shop instead. The editors could have helped out by layering some galvanic, Winklevoss-inspired rowing score underneath the footage of Era I paddling in circles like it’s their first rodeo, but they didn’t.
Era III is first to shore, and they maintain their lead through the eating portion thanks to Tony The Tank. I get that eating challenges are a core touchstone of the franchise, but I could really, really do without them. No one enjoys watching a montage of retching and vomiting.
Tori leads Era III to victory, having spent the previous night memorizing the order of the seasons by staring at the house’s logo wall. I’m not sure why everyone didn’t come into season 40 knowing this like they know the Nicki verse from “Bed Rock” since this puzzle was bound to come up. Probably because unlike Survivor contestants, who have literally made 3D printouts of famous puzzles in preparation for the show, The Challenge players pride themselves on being the people who would have beat you up in high school, not the loser virgins who studied for a pop quiz.
Once the Era I elders finally make it back to dry land, C.T. offers the flimsy “C.T. Pro Tip” that on The Challenge, “you have to be crazy,” before guzzling up some duck embryo. Unfortunately, today, crazy isn’t gonna cut it. Eras II and IV nab second and third place, leaving the Gen Xers to wallow in the “back in my day” of it all.
We learn that the Era I reps, Jodi and Darrell, will automatically face elimination. The reps from the middle teams will have to plead their case to the Era III winners, Tony and Averey, to avoid the arena.
Nonstop strategy quickly descends on the house, but Tony and Averey have opposing ideas. For Averey, sending in Era II losers Derek and Aviv is a nonstarter due to her long-standing friendship with Derek. The old Tony might have agreed with this logic, but the new Tony is a disruptive innovator who makes Elon Musk shake in his boots. To make a bold and beautiful strategic move, Tony turns to none other than Josh, the village idiot, and the Dumb & Dumber duo get to work on a master plan that will stop the sheeple in their tracks.
Their scheme is for Tony to protect Era IV, who is more likely to gain power in future challenges (they came in third today, so it is unclear why they are so certain of this), and then Era IV will protect Era III down the line. Nothing any more revolutionary than the strategies deployed by your 11-year-old cousin who makes you play The Settlers of Catan every Thanksgiving.
After an uneventful Chamber discussion, Tony tries to intimidate Averey into folding, telling her that he’s willing to go into elimination himself if she doesn’t acquiesce. Averey is quick to counter that she’ll do the same, calling Tony’s bluff.
The house gets wild during Greek God Night, where the whole cast, with the exception of Cara Maria in her Rocky Horror getup (#notlikeothergirls), is dressed in togas, body glitter, and flower crowns. Donning a blonde bob yet still taking himself as seriously as ever, Bananas explains to Tony that he’s falling on the sword for people he met a week ago, risking his own game on a move that really isn’t the big game changer he thinks it is. Tony is unwilling to consider this sage guidance because he’s still butthurt that Bananas cheered for Leroy, his canonical best friend, instead of him during the first elimination.
The women posit that part of Tony’s stubbornness stems from male-driven ego, an unearned entitlement that as the man, he’s the power player who should be driving all decision making. The men of the show famously don’t have the best track record with how they treat the women, and while they’ve improved in more recent years — likely more so due to fear of getting canceled on social media than an actual moral reckoning — the guys are still accustomed to having the final say.
It’s not a Challenge party without a meltdown or makeout; fortunately, we get both. While Olivia and Theo and Devin and Michele smooch on the daybeds, Nia takes her polidicking to the next level, trading Josh for Kyland. Sad boi Josh can hear them hooking up from the next room, but to add insult to injury, he can also hear all his friends making fun of him downstairs for getting cucked.
Josh is about as likely to cry in any given episode as an eighth grader cast as the boutique manager in a production of Legally Blonde: The Musical Jr. is to choke on her high note. He tells Tori that even though he has love for her, he doesn’t consider her a friend anymore. Josh, relax. You’re on The Challenge, there’s nothing to do besides flirt, work out, and bust each other’s balls. Michele looks on, frozen and mid-bite of instant ramen, which is probably the worst food you could be eating during someone else’s personal crisis.
At the elimination, when T.J. asks who will be joining Jodi and Darrell in the arena, Averey turns to Tony and icily tells him to “go ahead.” She’s not backing down, so Tony has to explain that the duo could not come to a consensus, a huge faux pas in The Challenge universe. T.J. snaps, “Don’t fuck with me,” and for the first time in 19 years, I’m forced to ponder: Is T.J. hot?
Averey and Tony sacrifice their immunity, heading into the sand to play the elimination themselves. Averey questions if Tony really wants to be there; if he’s so willing to risk his game, maybe he’s just checked out and doesn’t care. The elimination game is called One Step At A Time, and will be played individually, not in pairs. The players have to assemble a bridge using heavy tiles of different colors based on a series of rules (e.g. green tiles can only touch yellow tiles). You can only carry/place one tile at a time, and if you mess up, you can only remove one tile at a time, so this is one of those games where you want to have the attention to detail of a disturbed yet accomplished serial killer.
Much like watching people paddle a boat, watching people carry heavy objects is not the most scintillating television. And it’s not even really a game of wit; it’s more of a game of “who has the smartest friends?” because it seems the players are at least 95 percent relying on their teammates to dictate every move to them.
The men play first, and since Tony has pissed everyone off, including his own Era, he’s pretty much left to his own devices with some coaching from Jordan, who helps him realize his entire bridge is wrong about halfway through building it. There was nothing the editors could do to make this match look anything near close. Darrell blows his back out and still runs away with the win while Tony twiddles his dick, trying to remember what the color red looks like. “Tonight, it wasn’t Tony Time,” Tony tells the camera solemnly.
In the women’s corner, Jodi frets that this type of elimination is her worst nightmare. I get it; it would probably take me the equivalent of a seven-year PhD program to figure out that riddle. Averey complains that the tiles are too hard to maneuver because they’re “like half of [her] body” since she’s such a “little guy.” Averey was a badass in this episode, but is there anything more annoying than a hot girl humblebragging about how small she is? When are they going to learn that no one finds this charming or relatable?
Averey and Jodi get by with a little help from their friends, but both make errors around the same point in their bridge construction and have to reset. Devin and his puzzle brain come in clutch for Averey, and she pulls out the W mainly due to her active listening skills.
With winning comes power, but not the kind you want. Averey and Darrell each have to pick next week’s representatives/targets from each Era, meaning those players will have a 50 percent chance of seeing elimination. Being forced to say four names is a strategic nightmare because now four people are pissed at you, not counting any rogue haters you’ve accrued from seasons past. Darrell picks Aneesa, Laurel, Nia, and Jenny. Averey chooses Derrick, Bananas, and Horacio, with Jordan volunteering himself for Era III, because you can’t spell Jordan without showboat.
