With Jen Shah serving a prison sentence after being found guilty of being Shah-mazing and Monica Garcia exiled back to obscurity after it was discovered that she was RealityVonTease, many worried that The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City would be boring. Well, it looks like there’s gonna be drama, even if it is nearly impossible to live up to last season’s explosive finale.
In the season-five trailer, we see Mary Cosby not only expressing her feelings but also, gasp, participating in group events. Angie Katsanevas, our first intergalactic Housewife, is not wearing sunglasses that cover her whole face. And Lisa Barlow has forced all the women to dress identical to her, wigs and all. If there are eight Lisa Barlows, does that mean we have 56 lawyers combined?
It’s not just the change in appearances that are girl, so confusing, but it’s also how they are acting. It looks like the big feuds of the season will be between Mary Cosby and Meredith Marks, the only woman courageous enough to be Mary’s ally since the show started. We’re also seeing former allies Angie K and Lisa Barlow going toe-to-toe about who is a better mother. Whitney Rose makes Lisa so mad that she tries to snatch the Lisa Barlegend wig off Whitney’s head at an event that can only be called A Night of a Thousand Baby Gorgeouses. (What I would have paid to get a ticket to that dinner.)
Speaking of ladies we don’t know, a lot is made about the newest Housewife, Bronwyn Newport. (Not to be confused with Braunwyn from Newport Beach, who was on Real Housewives of Orange County for two seasons.) She dresses like Chanel Ayan at an anime convention and is ready to ruffle Heather’s feathers like she’s Big Bird. No, wait. That’s what Mary called Whitney. You get the idea. Also, why is Meredith so pissed off that people are recording her and who is wearing a wire?
We don’t see either of the new “friends of” joining the cast: Heather’s gal pal Britani Bateman (no relation to Patrick or Jason) and Whitney’s buddy Meili Workman. In a press release accompanying the trailer, Bravo teases that Britani pisses everyone off from the jump and Lisa spreads a terrible rumor about Meili. These sound like gifts from either Mormon heaven or the reality gods, depending on how you worship.
The season kicks off Wednesday, September 18, which is really soon. Even before RHONY. If you want to see the show early, Bravo is holding two watch-party events in Salt Lake City and New York City on September 10. See, I knew that Bravo’s excellent casting department would have us saying, “Jen and Monica who?”
