I spent most of “Jean and Gene” wondering why the episode was called “Jean and Gene.” Though these oddballs, played by wife-and-husband duo Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman, got an explosive introduction in the season premiere, almost the entirety of this episode unfolds without a glimpse of their southwestern jackets or identical eyeglasses.
But by the end of the episode — a dramatic improvement over the plodding premiere — it’s clear that the head honchos of the Keepers have been hovering over everything all along.
We begin in the Umbrellas’ collective hangover haze on the morning after Ben dosed them with marigold. After so much time in the workaday world, it takes most of our heroes a little while to even notice their superpowers have returned. Luther reaches the climax of his energetic strip routine before he and the cheering audience realize his sculpted torso has been replaced with a hairy monkey’s body. Diego, dinged just the day before for taking so long to deliver packages, suddenly realizes he can toss them from the truck with bull’s-eye accuracy.
Of course, not everyone is happy to have their old, superpowered life back. Viktor, the Umbrella treated for decades as the black sheep, prefers the life he built as a successful bartender to the superheroic life forced upon him by Reginald Hargreeves from childhood. Allison doesn’t seem entirely sure if she wants to use her Rumor power, instead of her natural talent, to score the A-list acting roles that have eluded her. Klaus, still sober, sneakily dumped out the sake glass — and given his attachment to this more holistic lifestyle, a life without ghosts constantly haunting him seems to be in his best interest.
But happy or unhappy about being dragged back into the superhero life, the Umbrellas are united in their plan to figure out what happened to Sy Grossman’s daughter. When they visit the laundromat and find him gone, they find a map directing them to the evocatively named town of New Grumpson, Maine, and decide to hit the road.
So comes the first (and best) of the episode’s set pieces: a laugh-out-loud snapshot of the road trip from hell. Everyone needs to puke or pee or both. Diego refuses to pull over because they’re making such good time. “Baby Shark” is stuck in the tape deck on a loop. Even Viktor, so wary of using his restored powers, finally snaps, shattering the van’s windows.
By the time the Umbrellas arrive in New Grumpson, everyone is ready for a breather. Luther, cheery as ever, goes gaga for the wares at a local antique shop; Diego, competitive as ever, puts his restored powers to the test at an ax-throwing competition; and Ben, surly as ever, manages to alienate pretty much everybody at the local diner.
That group includes “Rosie” (Victoria Sawal), the waitress, manager, and owner of the place, who ultimately warms to Ben even if he doesn’t really deserve it. But if she does turn out to be a friendly face, she’s the only one in New Grumpson. Suddenly, and with no apparent provocation, an entire town’s worth of Christmas shoppers, carolers, and even a Santa dual-wielding machine guns suddenly turn on the Umbrellas, forcing them to rely on the superpowers they conveniently reacquired.
Now in its fourth season, The Umbrella Academy knows how to stage a good fight scene. But it soon becomes clear that, in this case, the show’s usual mix of splattery action-comedy comes with an additional twist. The Umbrellas haven’t just regained their superpowers; they’ve picked up some new ones. Luther’s skin is tough enough that he can serve as a human shield, blocking dozens of bullets. Diego can pull bullets out of the air and fire them, Magneto-like, back at his adversaries. Allison can take control of a baddie’s brain and make him kill his allies before turning the gun on himself. Five’s new power is both the most inexplicable and the most intriguing: When he teleports, he appears in a kind of alien subway that allows him to take a train to a parallel timeline.
I’m sure we’ll see all our heroes testing the boundaries of their new superpowers soon enough, but with an entire town’s worth of killers on their tails, the biggest priority is getting back to the van and getting the hell out of dodge. Ben brings Rosie along, which leads to the first of several episode-ending reveals: Her name isn’t Rosie, it’s Jennifer — the same Jennifer they came to New Grumpson to find, though she says she’s never heard of Sy Grossman. Say hello to another honorary inductee into the Umbrella Academy.
As the gang escapes, Klaus takes a bullet, forcing the group to heal him by giving him the marigold dose he’s been avoiding all along. (On this show, even minor characters tend not to stay un-superpowered forever.) Luther spots a parting clue about why the entire town might have turned on the Umbrellas: a label on the clothing of one dead pursuer indicating she worked for Hargreeves Enterprises.
As Umbrella Academy zips through this abbreviated final season, is Reginald Hargreeves turning out to be the final boss he always threatened to be? Whatever the answer, there’s another, more immediate threat on the horizon — the one that gives “Jean and Gene” its title. Just as the Umbrellas put New Grumpson in the rearview mirror, they end up in a brutal car collision with Jean and Gene, who take Jennifer for themselves. Looks like another rescue mission might be in order.
Raindrops
• Before the gunfire starts, Viktor and Allison have a conversation that reaffirms their special bond is broken for good. That feels like the right answer, even if Viktor is being shockingly chill about the whole thing after Allison killed Harlan last season. (You could say the same thing about Allison using her powers to assault Luther last season — but following a justified fan outcry, Umbrella Academy seems content to pretend that scene never happened.)
• “Everybody’s had a rough couple of years. What’s so special about you?” Did COVID happen in the Umbrella-verse?
• Luther’s bedside reading is How Your House Works, a comprehensive guide full of tips on how one might, say, repair a decaying old Home for Wayward Boys.
• First good, understated Diego gag: He really didn’t recognize Five just because of the “creepy mustache”?
• Second good, understated Diego gag: Holding onto the reindeer stuffed animals he won at the ax-toss through an entire bloody firefight.
• I’m assuming there’s no connection between Lila’s Uncle Lenny and our old enemy Leonard Peabody, but it’s a little odd Umbrella Academy is reusing a name with such a key place in the show’s lore.
• Not a single Umbrella noticed the sake was inexplicably glowing gold before they downed the shot?
• And while we’re on the subject of gross beverages, here’s hoping Netflix publishes an official recipe for Klaus’s kale-kiwi-carrot-cabbage kombucha.
• More holiday tunes to round out your Christmas-in-August Umbrella Academy playlist: “Jingle Bell Rock” and “The Carol of the Bells.”
