Stop Chasing Love (And Start Choosing Yourself)

They say you have to love yourself first — and fully — before you can love someone else. And that’s true.

You can only give so much of yourself to someone else. You can’t keep giving and giving and giving. Eventually, you will come up empty. Eventually, you will realize there’s no love left to give, not even for yourself.

And let’s be honest, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. When you don’t give yourself the love you so graciously give to others, you are ultimately abandoning yourself.

There are many ways you can abandon yourself: suppressing your feelings, people-pleasing, not setting boundaries, and second-guessing yourself. If you want to love yourself, you need to first forgive yourself for all the times you didn’t. If you want to attract a healthy relationship with someone who loves and respects you, you first need to love and respect yourself.

Forgive yourself for all the ways in which you’ve neglected your own needs and put others first. Stop ignoring your feelings. Don’t doubt yourself so much. Speak up for what you want. Don’t settle for the bare minimum. Give yourself the grace you deserve. Keep focusing on self-love, whatever that looks like to you.

To quote Harry Styles, “Fill up your own cup and let them fall in love with the overflow.”

Keep focusing on self-love, and the relationship will follow — and the right one, too.