DEAR DEIDRE: I MESSED up when I left my husband for my lover, even though the sex with my new fella is brilliant and so adventurous.
I’m 41 and my husband is 43. We’ve been married for 20 years.
We were mostly happy until he started boozing excessively.
He’s always liked a drink but when he isn’t going out getting hammered, he’s thinking about it.
I ran into an ex-boyfriend a few weeks ago. It was so lovely to see him.
We ended up going for a drink together.
He told me he was unhappy in his relationship and I ended up telling him how miserable I felt, too.
We swapped numbers and met up a few more times until, one afternoon, he kissed me.
It has been years since my husband showed me any affection. He doesn’t even hold my hand.
It gave me a real boost to be wanted again.
We began a passionate affair and I was caught up in the excitement.
But it was short-lived and it wasn’t long before my husband found out.
Feeling suspicious, he had looked through my phone.
He ended up contacting my lover’s partner and telling her what was going on, even though I begged him not to.
After that, we felt we had no choice but to leave our existing relationships.
We rented a flat together, but because my lover pays most of the bills I find myself asking for permission for anything I do or buy for the place.
He makes me feel that it is solely his home and not mine.
It was lovely to hear my husband’s voice when he got in touch with me one day.
He has promised he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol since I left, and wants me back.
I said I would give it some thought, but am I mad to even consider it?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Not necessarily, but your husband needs to prove to you that he’s changed and you’re his priority, not the booze.
He can find support through Drinkline (0300 123 1110).
Your lover is controlling and, if you stay with him, it could get worse.
It is possible for your relationship with your husband to become stronger if you are both prepared to work at it.
My support packs, Dealing With A Problem Drinker and Looking After Your Relationship, will help you get things back on track if it’s what you both want.
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
