APPRENTICE star and West Ham United vice-chair Karren Brady answers your careers questions.
Here, Karren gives advice to a reader who is anxious about their new job and not having any work friends.
Q) I’m 45 and live on my own, and while I’m not hugely sociable, I’m not an unfriendly person.
My problem is that since starting a new admin job three months ago, I’ve struggled to fit in at work.
From the start, one colleague in particular was quite standoffish, and she seems to have influenced everyone else.
The rest of the team aren’t as bad, but no one’s made much of an effort to chat to me, and I feel left out.
I enjoy the work and my manager is nice, but not having friends – or anyone I’m slightly friendly with – in the office is making me want to quit. Help!
Lindsey, via email
A) It’s unfortunate that you haven’t received the warm welcome you deserve, but try not to take your team’s behaviour personally.
When people are standoffish, it’s often due to their insecurities, rather than anything about you.
Having friends and co-workers you trust is a valuable asset in any workplace – it contributes to your job satisfaction and overall wellbeing, as well as your success in your role.
However, building these relationships takes time and effort.
To foster connections, consider inviting your colleagues to lunch or participating in after-work socials.
Even small gestures, like asking someone to join you for coffee, can help break the ice, and create opportunities for conversations and time to find common ground, as well as discover shared interests.
You could start by reaching out to the staff member who seems standoffish, as she clearly influences the rest of the team.
Once you connect with her, the others may become more open and receptive.
Even if things don’t change immediately, hopefully as the weeks go by, your relationships will strengthen, so be patient with yourself and don’t give up!
