DATING and relationships can be difficult to navigate at the best of times, but how do you know when it’s really time to leave?
Relationship coach and “love expert” Stephan Labossiere has revealed the exact moment you should walk away from your significant other, even if you’re married.
Of course, there are loads of reasons to stick it out and try and make things work when it comes to relationships, but once you hit a certain point it’s better to walk away, according to the pro.
Speaking on the Jay Shetty Podcast, Stephen explained: “If that person is unwilling to put in the work necessary, it’s time to go.”
He continued: “There are so many times I’ll have a video go up about communication and someone will comment saying ‘I’ve tried talking to him and he doesn’t want to talk to me’.
“And in my head I’m like ‘why are you still with them if he refuses to talk to you?’.”
Although trying to communicate is almost always a good, not to mention necessary, thing in relationships, it’s all about give and take.
So, if you’ve tried speaking to your partner and they’re not interesting in hearing what you’ve got to say, it might be time to call it quits.
At that point, Stephen explained, there’s “nothing else to do” when it comes to mending your relationship.
“It’s not going to magically get better,” he said.
If they know they can get away without opening up and trying to solve the problem, not matter how big or small it might be, it’s clear they’re not willing to “do the deeper work”, the pro noted.
Stephen compared the situation to a job interview where the candidate doesn’t have the skills or qualifications necessary for the role, but you hire them anyway.
“It’s almost like if I’m at a job and the job says you need to have a Master’s degree to work here but we’re going to hire you anyway and give you time to get that Master’s degree,” he explained.
“If getting that degree is super hard to you you’re gonna drag that out as long as possible yeah.
“You may never get the degree until they fire you. When they fire you and you realise ‘oh my gosh if I don’t do this, I’ll never get this person back, I’ll never get this opportunity back’. Now they might go and get it.”
According to the expert, many relationships fail in the end because he called “the love cycle”, which has four parts.
The first part of this cycle begins with your first relationship and have the most to give.
However, because of lack of experience you might not be mature enough to deal with those emotions or commitment, he explained.
The next part of this cycle is when you get hurt at the end of your first big love.
“So she gets hurt, after she gets hurt her moment is saying to herself ‘I will never let this happen to me again’.
“So now the woman starts to consciously or subconsciously choose men who are, I don’t want to say lower than her, but essentially a man who does not take her there,” Stephen said.
This then leads to the next part of the cycle, when the person picks a person to “fix” in a bid to gain their love and affection.
The expert noted that this kind of relationship will often end when the person you’ve been trying to fix “gets what he needs from you to build himself up”.
The final part of the doomed cycle then comes into play when the partner knows he doesn’t fulfil the other’s needs so seeks out someone else.
“The safe choice is almost always the wrong choice,” the pro explained when it comes to picking people to be in relationships.
