A MUM who found out she was expecting a baby two weeks into her prison sentence has lifted the lid on what life is like for pregnant women behind bars.
Amanda Tarver, 34, was just 22-years-old when she made the “mistake” of helping her now-husband sell drugs, leading to a deeply traumatic separation for their young family.
Both parents were locked up in 2015 as a result.
Amanda was convicted for 24 months due to her involvement in transferring money for her partner and receiving packages at her apartment.
Her husband Legend was given 47 months for conspiracy to import a controlled substance.
Despite being a first-time offender, the mum-of-two was given a two-year sentence which she served in full.
She discovered she was pregnant just two weeks into her sentence.
When she was seven months along, Amanda was transferred to a special unit for pregnant inmates.
She remembers this as “a warehouse with no windows and thin beds”.
“It was an emotional rollercoaster,” she tells.
“It was daunting to have a little baby dependent on me in this terrible institution.
“I didn’t even know if I’d make it to full-term because of my stress and anxiety levels.
“In prison, I felt that my identity was broken… I felt like a number.
“I gave birth behind bars.
“I couldn’t believe that this was how Legend Junior would spend the first few months of his life.”
But that’s not the worst of it.
Women who give birth in prison can keep their baby for the first 18 months in a mother and baby unit.
A prisoner with a child under 18 months old can apply to bring their child to prison with them.
The mum can apply for a space in a mother and baby unit when they enter prison, but an admissions board will decide if it’s the best thing for the child.
If there are no spaces in any unit, arrangements must be made for the child to be cared for outside prison.
For prisoners with sentences of 18 months or over, arrangements are normally made for the child to be cared for outside prison.
Amanda also had a six-year-old son named Dorian on the outside that didn’t understand why his mum suddenly wasn’t in his life.
“I really thought my life was over,” she recalls. “When they told me the verdict, I was in shock.
“I hadn’t gotten into trouble before and as I was a mother, I expected to receive a warning or probation.
“But none of those factors seemed to matter.
“I didn’t know how to explain to Dorian that I would be gone for so long.
“I was in a really bad space.”
In prison, I felt that my identity was broken… I felt like a number. I gave birth behind bars. I couldn’t believe that this was how my son would spend the first few months of his life
Amanda Tarver
Amanda was painfully separated from Dorian for the full two years of her sentence.
He remained in the custody of his paternal nan, Maria, who would bring the youngster in to visit his mum once a month.
Legend Junior remained behind bars with Amanda until he was three-months-old, before he was taken away from her by authorities to live with Maria and Dorian on the outside.
Miami-based Amanda served her sentence at Coleman Federal Prison Complex in Florida, US.
The States was reported to have the highest incarceration rate in the world at the end of 2023 with 1.8 million people behind bars, according to Statista.
The following prisons in Britain have mother and baby units:
This is something Amanda’s charity 300 Letters hopes to change, as well as push for an overhaul of the prison system.
She met Legend at a university bar a few years prior to her conviction in 2012.
While she was aware that he was selling illegal drugs to fund his education and help out at home, she initially didn’t view the crime as seriously as she does now.
“We were living in a city where party drugs are notorious,” Amanda recalls.
“I was young and naive and didn’t think of it as something terrible, or really consider that we might be harming people.
I was young and naive and didn’t think of it as something terrible, or really consider that we might be harming people
Amanda Tarver
Legend adds: “I was the oldest sibling to a single mum and was the man of the house helping to pay the bills and rent.
“A lot was done out of survival and what I felt my options were at the time.
“I was numb to it, having grown up with that culture.”
He hasn’t been able to forget the pain of “missing the birth of his first son” and not being able to meet LJ until he was three-months-old.
“It was horrible to hear all that Amanda was going through, knowing I couldn’t be there to provide for my wife,” he recalls.
A lot was done out of survival and what I felt my options were at the time. I was numb to it, having grown up with that culture
Legend Tarver
The couple would keep each other’s spirits up by exchanging letters, which was their only form of communication.
Amanda explains: “When you’re in prison, the only thing you have to look forward to is correspondence from loved ones.
“We’d talk about our future and our children, and I’d keep Legend updated on LJ – like if he was smiling a lot that day or had learned to turn over, I’d write it all down so his dad would know.
“We were so close yet so far away, having been incarcerated in the same compound but on opposite sides.”
After Amanda and Legend were both released in June 2016 and January 2017 respectively, they got married and settled back into society.
Women’s prisons in the UK are now the most violent they have ever been, with assaults tripling in a decade.
In the year to September, the 3600 strong women’s prison state saw a total of 1630 assaults.
This is much higher than the rate in men’s prisons, which is 40% lower.
Although serious violence has historically been much worse in men’s prisons, it is now almost identical, with 39 of last year’s 110 assaults directed at prison staff.
Source: PA
But their experience ran deeper and the parents wanted to do something to support others in the system.
In 2021, they launched a charity and named it 300 Letters – inspired by the hundreds of letters they themselves exchanged during their time behind bars.
The couple started out by crowdfunding through existing contacts, as well as put together targeted social media campaigns and fundraising campaigns through fitness events.
They also recently received their first few grants from The Children’s Trust & The Miami Foundation.
300 Letters offers free family therapy, child-care financial assistance and empowerment support groups to families with minor children recovering from the traumas of incarceration.
Amanda said: “We focused on getting back on our feet first, finding jobs and getting back into the swing of things with our two boys – but then we looked at the bigger picture.
A lot of people hear about us through word-of-mouth, which I think shows the amount of parents that want to prioritise their family and navigate the most positive life possible after this experience
Amanda Tarver
“I worked in criminal justice journalism for a while and found organisations that were assisting, but the programs weren’t directly tailored towards the children or the family.”
To date, 300 Letters has helped over 400 families survive the system and assisted over 50 caregivers of children with an incarcerated parent.
Amanda now works full-time for the organisation, while Legend partially helps fund it through his work as a lead trainer and operations manager at Legacy Gym.
“We are so happy to bring hope to so many families in a short time,” Amanda says.
“A lot of people hear about us through word-of-mouth, which I think shows the amount of parents that want to prioritise their family and navigate the most positive life possible after this experience.
“It feels incredible to be able to help – and I know this is our life’s purpose.
“Life is hectic and we work a lot while also focusing on our kids. It’s busy but amazing.
“We’re hoping to get 300 Letters fully-funded one day – we are placing all of our bets on it.”
