DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having incredible sex with my wife’s lesbian lover and I don’t feel the least bit guilty.
My wife left me two years ago after finally admitting to me she liked women not men.
Her announcement took me completely by surprise, but when I look back the signs that she was cheating with women were there all along.
She has never admitted being unfaithful but all the girls’ weekends away and loving messages, made sense once she admitted she is a lesbian.
I’m 45 and my ex-wife is 37. We got married four years ago. We never wanted children and are now in the process of divorcing.
A couple of months ago I went to my wife’s new flat to drop off some paperwork. She wasn’t in but her new girlfriend was.
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When I introduced myself she invited me in and offered me a cuppa. She said my ex-wife was away for the night at a works’ do.
We got talking and I was surprised at how easy I found her company – we were even joking about my wife’s quirks.
We moved on from a cup of tea to a bottle of wine. There was a definite spark there. I moved around the table and stupidly made a pass at her.
She pushed me away, saying, “This is all new to me. I’ve never been interested in men”. Then she grabbed me, pulled me close to her and we kissed again.
She took me to their bedroom and we had passionate and tender sex. We’ve met up several times in secret since. Now she’s texting me daily and I can’t help but feel flattered.
In my head my wife and I are now even.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you are treating your relationships like a game.
But I’m afraid this fickle approach will mean everyone loses.
You don’t know if your wife cheated on you and even if she did, sleeping with her new girlfriend will create more problems than it solves.
You still sound very preoccupied with your wife when focusing on your future would be far better for all of you.
You say you don’t feel guilty about your affair, so why email me then?
Cut off your liaison and explain to your lover that you both need to concentrate on your separate futures.
My support pack called Moving On will help.
