WHAT would you do if the cost for your primary school aged child’s birthday suddenly spiralled – all because of the actions of one school mum.
Well, this happened to Lauren Libin, 42 from Brighton, and a mum of two children aged 10 and six, when she was planning a party for her youngest.
Here she tells all to Fabulous…
I recently threw a birthday party for my son at a large soft play venue in town, to celebrate him turning six.
As he has a summer birthday, we’ve never thrown him a big party with his class, and always opted for smaller family affairs.
But this year, he was super keen to have a party with his school friends at a large adventure play attraction.
So, we decided to do it after his birthday in September, to ensure more children were about and not on holiday.
He is in a class of 20 children, so it seemed the fairest thing to do was invite all of them.
I put together a quick WhatsApp invitation and sent it to the class WhatsApp group.
People were responding adding the name of their child to an ongoing list, then one mum, who was the 10th to confirm, added both the name of her daughter and her younger sibling to the list, without messaging me first to check if this was okay.
I was immediately shocked, as I thought it was obvious when inviting a child to a paid for party (not a party at your own home) that it would be just the child in question invited, not their sibling(s).
Although annoyed and slightly put out by this, I decided not to respond (as my husband told me it would come across as petty) and state this was just for the child in my son’s year not their sibling.
However, what followed next was even more annoying, as everyone else on the group who had further children added them to the list too, whether they had already replied or were yet to.
Some people might think I am being petty, but this message from one parent that others saw as the sign it was okay to add their other children to the list cost me an extra £150!
I just wish I had messaged straight back to the parent who
added the first sibling and said no.
British politeness took over and I didn’t say a thing.
Lauren
But I think British politeness took over and I didn’t say a thing.
I personally don’t think it is okay to add a sibling to a list without checking with the birthday child’s parent first.
Not only do you pay for the sibling to attend the party (which wasn’t cheap), feed and water them, but you of course have to provide them with a party bag too.
Plus, most six-year-olds do not want an extra 10 younger children that aren’t their friends at their party!
As all the siblings were younger (one to four years old), this also changed the dynamic, as the bigger boys wanted to play rough in the soft play and constantly had to watch out for toddlers around their feet.
In the end he had 15 friends from his class and 10 of their siblings.
Children’s birthday parties are already crazy expensive, with a survey
released recently stating the average child’s birthday party costs a
whopping £524.
The average price of £524 includes decorations, venue hire, food, gift bags and entertainment.
Almost 50 per cent of people surveyed said organising a birthday bash for their child was one of the most stressful things they have ever done.
I am not surprised, as this party cost us just under £500, which is a lot more than we initially planned to spend, and I do think it has put me off throwing a big party in the future.
Lesson learned, next year it is strictly a name on the invite kind of party!
A study by major toy retailer TK Maxx revealed that one in three parents admit to spending less on presents for their own children and their children’s friends compared to five years ago.
Average Spend: Parents spend an average of £175 on birthday gifts for their kids, while presents for their children’s friends can cost up to £95 a year, adding extra strain on household finances.
Gifts and Parties: Children receive around 12 presents per birthday, and parents take their kids to an average of four birthday parties annually.
Top Five Gifts Parents Buy for Children:
Clothes: 49%
Books: 46%
Technology: 39%
Traditional Board Games: 38%
Remote Controlled Toys: 26%
Dolls: 25%
How Much Should You Spend on a Child’s Birthday?
Experts generally suggest keeping birthday spending reasonable and within the family’s budget. A common guideline is to spend around £10 to £20 per year of the child’s age. For example:
5-year-old: £50 to £100
Remember, the focus should be on creating memorable experiences rather than adhering strictly to a spending rule.
Simple, thoughtful, and creative celebrations can often be just as enjoyable and meaningful for the child.
