DEAR DEIDRE: MY friend’s husband once broke her jaw and I’m so worried about her.
She has turned from a bubbly, outgoing person into a shell of herself.
But she’s too scared to leave. She told me he said he’d kill himself if she did.
We’ve been friends for 20 years. I’m male and 44 and she’s 43. Her husband of 18 years is 48.
She makes excuses for him, but it’s clear he beats and abuses her.
I barely see her because she cancels nights out at the last minute.
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I think it’s to hide her injuries. I know he checks her phone, so she’ll never write anything about him.
I want to help her escape. How?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s very hard to help someone if they aren’t ready. But being there for her is so important.
Try to get her to contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (national dahelpline.org.uk, 0808 2000 247) and to read my support pack about Abusive Partners.
Perhaps show her your message to me and offer to lend her your phone to make some calls.
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.