EVERY parent wants to stop tantrums in their tracks before they can get out of hand.
But according to this parenting expert there’s a common phrase that can make them loads worse if you’re not careful.
Emma Hubbard is a Paediatric occupational therapist based in Australia, she explained on YouTube that this “on trend” phrase might seem like you’re helping your kid, but it’s not really the case.
Although some mummy influencers and even parenting books might suggest acknowledging your little one’s feelings by saying something like ‘I can see that you’re upset’, this could backfire.
Emma explained: “You’ve been told when you say this your child will feel heard and seen and will calm down, but surprise surprise, the tantrum doesn’t stop.
“So there you are stuck on repeat mode echoing ‘I see you’re upset’, as if it’s some sort of magic mantra.”
Although acknowledging your little one’s feelings is important, doing nothing else afterwards can be frustrating for them.
So, repeating yourself with these comforting phrases is a no-no.
“When your toddler is in a middle of a tantrum their thinking part of the brain is turned off.
“It’s like someone trying to talk to you in the middle of a busy crowd; it’s hard to focus and take in what’s being said,” Emma explained.
Here’s what you should do instead.
Rather than repeating yourself as you try to comfort your toddler, just say it once and stay with them as the process their emotions.
The parenting pro suggested offering a hug, or even just sitting quietly next to them as they calm down.
“Simply being quiet and maintaining a comforting presence is an extremely effective form of support,” she said.
That said, If your toddler begins to throw things or gets physical during their tantrum, the best thing to do might be to keep your distance.
“As long as they’re safe it’s ok to stay a little away while still letting them know you’re there for them,” the parenting pro said.
You shouldn’t just tell them to ‘stop crying’ and then leave them on their own though, because this could send the wrong message, Emma noted.
“It could seem like you’re saying their feelings are annoying, not ok, or that you don’t want to be around them when they’re upset,” she said.
Find out why the tantrum is happening:
There are many reasons your child may have a tantrum, it could be as simple as them being tired or hungry.
They could also be feeling jealous, or just need attention and love.
Find a distraction:
If you think your child is starting a tantrum, finding something to distract them with straight away can help.
This could be a toy, or something you see out the window, like a dog or a flower.
Be prepared when you’re out shopping:
A parents know, many tantrums happen in shops and it can be hard to keep your cool.
Keeping shopping trips as short as possible can help, as well as involving your child in the shopping by talking about what you need and letting them help you.
