DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter threw me out because of her nasty boyfriend.
I’m her mum, 70, and my daughter is 40. She has lived with me for the past ten years.
She has four children by two different fathers.
Her current boyfriend is the dad of her youngest, a one year old girl.
When they met, she began dumping her three eldest children on me in order to spend time with him.
Sometimes she left them with me for two or three days at a time.
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She soon moved in with him, and at the same time, I lost my house.
I’d had a major heart operation and then lost my job so I couldn’t afford the rent on my home.
She agreed to let me move in temporarily while I looked for another home to rent.
She thought it was a great idea, as she had a free babysitter.
However, it all turned sour the other day when her boyfriend thought I’d said something derogatory about their daughter.
It came out of nowhere when I was feeding her, and he began swearing at me.
My daughter was in tears, and she suddenly put all my belongings in a bin bag and threw them outside.
She told me to get out and not to return. I’ve tried to contact her since so I can resolve the situation, but she says she doesn’t want to see me.
Every day is a struggle, and even my oldest grandchildren are calling, asking when they can see me again.
My heart is weak, and the stress is causing me to feel unwell. How do I resolve this situation?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable you’ll feel wounded by your daughter’s harsh treatment.
You’ve helped her with her children, and unfortunately, she has taken advantage of your kindness.
If she’s adamant that she doesn’t want to see you, this may not change, but I wouldn’t give up.
Keep telling her you miss her and the children. Emphasise that you want to reconcile.
It would help you to contact standalone.org.uk, an organisation that helps anyone who is estranged from their families.
They’ll be able to advise you at this time.
