DEAR DEIDRE: MY older brother-in-law groped me at my parents’ golden wedding anniversary party, and now I’m dreading our next family get-together.
I’m 20, my sister is 25, and her husband is 30.
I had always got along really well with him and saw him as a brotherly figure, but at my parents’ party, he made me feel so uncomfortable.
It had been a long night of drinking, and I found myself feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded.
When I decided to go outside for some fresh air, my brother-in-law followed.
At first we were having friendly conversation, but then everything took a turn when I started throwing up.
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I felt him hold my back and assumed he was trying to help, but then he reached around my front and grabbed my boobs.
At the time I was in complete shock and tried to convince myself I had imagined it, but then later, when I was talking to my sister, he came up behind us and slid his hand straight down the back of my skirt.
He was so sneaky, and I knew I couldn’t get his hand out without causing a scene.
Now I don’t know what to do. The last thing I want is to implode my sister’s marriage, but we’ve got another family wedding coming up, and I’m worried sick it will happen again.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This was sexual assault.
While you may not want to report him, he knew what he was doing and was aware that touching you like this is completely off limits.
Consider speaking to your parents or your sister.
While it’s understandable that you’re worried about what it’ll do to your family, this is not your fault, and your brother-in-law should have thought about this before crossing the line.
You deserve to feel safe, and I’m sure they will feel the same way.
Finding some emotional support will help, so consider contacting Family Action (family-action.org.uk, tel: 0808 802 6666) where you can talk in confidence.
