DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend is the sexiest woman I know and she attracts a lot of attention – male and female – every time she goes out.
She also has an incredibly high sex drive. She is a lovely person, but has admitted she got carried away a few times.
I know she has had sex with at least one other man and, on a separate occasion, a woman.
She says she can’t help herself and tells me not to get hung up — that it’s only ever physical.
She says I’m the only one she has feelings for.
I’ve tried not to care, but her infidelities and constant need for sexual attention upset me.
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She’s going on holiday with her mates soon and I know she’ll end up cheating. She dances provocatively, is really chatty and flirty and she sunbathes topless.
We’ve been together for two years and are both 31.
She is beautiful, has a gorgeous figure and, when we got together, I couldn’t believe my luck. She flirted like mad with me in a club and then we started kissing. I texted her the next day and we went on a date.
She told me that she’d never met anyone like me before, but I know I am punching.
We moved in together quickly and still can’t keep our hands off each other. I’ve stayed faithful throughout, but she has told me she’s had a couple of flings, and each time she says they’ve meant nothing to her.
She’s buzzing about going to Spain with friends, but I’m terrified she’ll stray and that it could turn into something serious.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t control whether she goes or not, but why would you put up with her trampling over your emotions when she cheats on you? You can’t accept this poor behaviour because you think she’s the trophy girlfriend.
My guess is that you’re looking for a long-lasting relationship and she isn’t bothered either way.
By being so accepting of her having her “physical thing” with other people, you’re not valuing yourself.
You haven’t discussed an open relationship and it’s clear that isn’t what you want anyway. If she loved you, she wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings or risk your relationship.
Find a moment when you are both calm and quiet to tell her you hope she has a lovely holiday, but the cheating needs to stop. If she does anything like that again, you’ll be asking her to leave.
